Skip to main content

Cost, value and worth - becoming ever confused

Two words seem to be very misunderstood out in marketing land - "cost", "worth" and "value".

I have to smile when I see the advertisements, most noticeably from the phone providers or phone bucket shops, for the "New super-duper Acme phone" which includes "free acme headphones worth £199".

Er. No.

Sorry chaps.

The headphones are not in any way "worth" £199. That £199 would be the "cost" of them in rip-off Britain. Not their worth. They are actually "worth" about £25, if that!

Oh! And they're not "free". The price has been factored into your phone contract. Which would be a few quid less a month if it didn't include the "free" headphones. Those that are worth £25.

Supermarkets are increasingly coming under scrutiny for their special offers that have been discovered to be not all that special after all. The buy one for £2.50 or two for £4 type of thing, when they've not really been on sale for the required previous period of time at £2.50, and were in fact price-hiked from £1.85 prior to the offer anyway.

The management trot out the not-unbelievable excuse that they have thousands of items on sale at any one time and mistakes do happen.

Well, a well-organised and rather simple spreadsheet would take care of that! You list your products down the left of the spreadsheet. You then list the prices across the top of the spreadsheet with the statutory date range and relevant prices. You then place your spreadsheet within easy access on your content management system and hey presto! The perfect mechanism for all management to monitor your prices.

Simples, and hardly rocket science!

And talking of "simples", although not the one that accompanies that phrase, one insurance site is offering a staggering 1,000 Nectar points if you take out an insurance policy with them. So you pay your several thousand pounds to get your car insured against someone looking at it, and immediately run up and down the street in joy clutching your 1,000 Nectar points...........worth £5.

Almost as bad as taking out one of those coffin policies clearly marked "you may not get back the sums you have paid in premiums" where they give you an incredibly cheap and nasty flat-screen tv as an incentive. Some "experts" have worked out that it may be better just to plonk your £5 a week into an ISA. Or under your mattress.

And talking of coffin policies. If one of the main ones in the North West can afford to let one of the big four supermarkets sell their policies, wouldn't it be more equitable and honest to stop and offer their existing customers the commission they are paying the supermarket, as a reduction. Then customers might just "get back the sums they have paid in premiums".

It really is appalling that consumer watchdogs and programmes on television such as "Watchdog" and "Rip-Off Britain" have to constantly monitor companies on our behalf, if only to overcome their sheer greed cleverly disguised as administration errors.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Season for all men

Well, we’re used to hearing about the Camping Season , which for Scouts runs from approximately 31st March to 31st October each year, although Graham Norton’s camping season lasts all year. Then there’s the Caravan Season , where Jeremy Clarkson spends six months with extremely high blood pressure as he tries to overtake them on the A38 in an excruciatingly expensive and completely unnecessary car. The Japanese have their Scientific Season, which was a series of sporadic weeks where they slaughtered endangered whales for scientific research, the results of which seem to be a closely guarded world-secret. This season now looks set, thanks to a group of spineless, land-locked countries threatened by the Land of the Rising Scientific Research with paying more for their Nintendos and PlayStations, to last until the final whale is wiped off the face of the oceans. I have written to the Japanese Embassy four times now seeking details of this research (email address info@l...

"Q". My name is Bond. Oh. not THAT Q.

I was sent a story today by a friend who knows my feelings on the subject - that is, about one of the consummately greatest of all British activities, namely, queuing. It seems some Danish Professor or other has come up with the theory that those who queue the longest should actually be served the last. He claims it makes purchasing something altogether more efficient and smooth through the idea of 'contra-queuing' (whatever the devil that may mean). 'Serve the people at the back of the queue first', he says, with profound wisdom. Altogether very professorial, albeit demonstrating a somewhat keen lack of understanding of the purchasing psyche. The Nobel Prize-chasing Prof suggests that if, for example, a popular entertainment act was to announce a tour, with tickets going on sale at 11am one morning, using the theory of 'contra-queuing', no one will want to be first to buy said tickets. So no one will turn up 14 months in advance and venues will...

"Pre-" . . . . . good grief!!!!!!!!!

I was looking through the Guardian this morning and noticed a position being advertised that I thought I'd take a closer look at. The first sentence, when clicking the link to apply was: "If you are registered, please log in and we will pre-fill this form for you." What is the current fixation with the prefix "pre" . It is everywhere, turning perfectly reasonable statements into total and utter gibberish! I would have thought that for one of our major quality newspapers, instead of "please log in and we will pre-fill this form for you" it would have been much more sensible to have something along the lines of "please log in and your details will be automatically filled in for you". It is the rip-off Britain merchants who have embraced this particular prefix with a vengeance. They have nonsensically slapped it in front of the word " order " so that the moment an overpriced games console, war game for that console, phone,...