The Grumpy Old Blog

Come on folks, let's not be cynical.  Now that you have all sewn up your stomachs following its gutting by the death of Mr Sven-Göran Eriksson, it's time to consider Oasis.   (I cannot understand why anyone would want to become, in essence, a "disciplinati" and go through such a cruel self-mutilation as a "gutting" on behalf of someone who died that they don't know, have never met and who didn't help their family in any material way except encourage them to part with £85 for a shirt with an advertisement on the front for some large corporation, and which was manufactured in Bangladesh by a half-blind child for $4).   Yes, let's all fawn and become positively orgasmic at the thought of two louts from Burnage in Manchester (OK, yes, they are talented) getting together to altruistically sell hundreds of thousands of tickets, a year in advance, at £100+ a time [plus rip-off fee], flog t-shirts and other worthless branded tat at the concerts, all for ...

  I have always liked the Jehovah's Witnesses. But I think I'll have to drop their HQ a line to complain. They very naughtily knock on the door in pairs, today, one a middle-aged gentleman who dressed like a Job Centre civil servant from the 1970's, the other, an extremely attractive girl in her late twenties/early thirties whom you'd want to ask if she'd care to help you book a cruise with the sole intention of not going out on deck too often with her (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!), thus keeping the ports of call strictly within the cabin. Today's very attractive co-caller was a rather prim and proper Lily James lookalike who would otherwise have scored an admirable 11 in the Dudley Moore film "10". Tempted though I was to ask exactly what they had witnessed and to state that as I don't get involved - that makes me somewhat of a Jehovah's Bystander - following a few pleasantries and a leaflet titled "Will I survive...

Well, an interesting trip to the mid-winter retail festival, er I mean Christmas market in Manchester. Or "The UK's original, award winning Manchester Christmas Market" as the Council prefer to call it. Big, brash, bustling and full of late teenage /early 20's girls imitating Daffy Duck with their preposterous Botox duck lips. They really should stick to the more cost-effective lunacy of torn-kneed jeans and baseball hats on backwards, taking cat-backside pursed-lipped selfies of one another instead. It was mad busy. The stalls stretch all over the city centre, selling wonderful stuff like mulled wine, frankfurters, cheese, plastic illuminated santas, wreaths, mulled wine, cheese, frankfurters, cheese, mulled wine, frankfurters and plastic illuminated santas. For the more adventurous, there was mulled wine, frankfurters, cheese and plastic illuminated santas (in fairness loads of other food, tat and craft stalls). Hot drinks were handled rather interestingl...

Councils are very hard to understand. I heard on the radio this morning that 7 million actions have been taken this year by council bin-snoop police throughout the country, many resulting in income for said councils in the form of fines. One lady in the midlands was fined £50 for throwing a jam jar into her full paper-cardboard recycle bin. They should be glad she recycles anything, given the shameful way the residents of our apartment block carry on!  Yes, councils continually cry poverty, yet pay very senior staff  a fortune (not the humble coal-face workers dealing with an often very-miffed public; I mean they pay a fortune to the ones with strings of meaningless letters after their name and who use just an initial and surname so you don't know whether they are a Mr, Mrs, Miss or a combination of all three. I mean, if you get a letter from "A Jobsworth" would you know whether they are a Mr, Mrs, Miss or a combination of all three?).  They come up with wonderful ideas...

The preparations for the by-election in Manchester's Wythenshawe and Sale ward to replace popular Labour MP Paul Goggins, who died last month are now in full swing. To help voters choose, I have a summary below to assist: Conservatives - their candidate Justin Ponsenby-Smithers-Farquarson is in ebullient mood despite the possibility he might only achieve 8th place out of the seven candidates who are campaigning. A blue tent has been erected outside the main polling station on the M56 which will be serving strawberries and cream. Unfortunately, no one has the heart to tell Mr. Ponsenby-Smithers-Farquarson that it is in fact a by-election and not a regional heat for Wimbledon and that the main polling station is not on the M56 Labour - their candidate, Mona Ledzeppelin, is campaigning hard on a "Help Bob Crow emigrate" ticket. Proving very popular and could be a potential high vote winner. She has  promised that if she is elected she will campaign hard for the national a...