Friday, 26 February 2016

Local news from Manchester, UK . . . .

More news about the the trees being proposed for Prestwich village, which is a small suburb of Manchester not far from Blackburn, but thankfully for residents, inconveniently far enough away that people in Prestwich can easily avoid it.

My contact in Bury Council (Sir Frederik Scuttle OBE DipEd PhD SFA WTF) informs me that their HR department invited famous hypnotist Paul McKenna in to the Council last week to provide "training" for union members, Green Party members and various green welly warriors, all of whom eat organic cardboard, recycle their bicycles and own allotments so far from home they have to drive in their often smoke-belching MOT-failures to get there. For reference, here is a picture of one of the "trees" they now "believe" are being planted. All potentially in the ground.

And for those thinking of taking a cycle path through Prestwich. Take care! Be afraid. Be very afraid. You will find them and they will kill you. These are in fact "psyche o'paths", eponymously named after the engineer from Limerick who installed them. Although reasonably fine in construction, they point in completely random directions bearing no relation to either the origin you've cycled from or the destination you are wishing to cycle to!

There are two such signs (not those featured here) on Whittaker Lane alone that Mrs Betty Scrotes of Ostrich Lane followed and ended up in Accrington Stanley, when all she was in fact trying to do was to get to Lidl on Bury New Road to purchase her 5 a day at 39p each, which is astonishingly cheap for alcopops.

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Tax evasion

On the tax front, instead of arguing amongst themselves in political debate and trying to score against each other as to whose fault it is that google pay only 3% corporation tax, just cross-party cooperate. Both political parties are at fault.

Bring the appalling Lin Homer (she quickly jumped ship after her ennoblement) types at HMRC to book to make the tax system sensible. Instead of all the guff that serial tax evasion consultants such as KPMG and Deliottes (I know it's legal) can extract from the tax code's 11,520 pages, reduce it to just one sentence. 

"You operate a corporation in the UK that takes money from UK taxpayers, then you pay 20% corporation tax."

And stop engaging these consultants for public sector work until they stop helping companies evade tax.