The Grumpy Old Blog

I was asked rather accusingly this morning about what I will be doing for the King's Coronation. Well, if it's cash in hand, His Majesty had my contact details. Perhaps I could have: * Kick-started the Gold State Coach * Write some jokes for Huw Edwards for when he starts talking total nonsense to fill in the pregnant pauses when absolutely nothing is happening * Prevent people from laughing at how Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice are dressed * Remind commentators that Love Island contestants and Judy Murray are NOT celebrities * Lock Piers Morgan in the boot of a Volvo in Victoria outside the National Express station and tape the keys to the back of a bus heading to Aberdeen * Look after Joe Biden's Zimmer frame * Ensure Diane Abbot doesn't write to the Observer about the event * Explain to TikTokkers that the tins of evaporated milk they have brought along to have autographed by members of the Royal Party are "Carnation" * Explain to people that the queue out...

There is an absolutely huge dilemma in the UK that I need to bring to your attention, but let's leave it until later in the blog. At the time of scribbling this, the casual reader will not need reminding of some of the lesser impending problems in the world at the moment, but I'll remind you of them anyway. There's that nasty ebola virus that governments are trying their best to keep out of their respective countries. Horrid, but not as big a dilemma as this UK one I will allude to. There's Iran posturing about its rather unclear nuclear vision. A vision to have weapon-grade electricity generating stations. Horrid, but not as big a dilemma as this UK one I will allude to. Then there's the unacceptable increase in anti-Semitism throughout the world where Israel can do no right and everyone seems to have forgotten the Holocaust during World War II where just under half the world's then population of Jews (along with gays, gypsies and the disabled) were bru...