"𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸" and "𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁".

 "𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸" and "𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁".

Perhaps the most caustic sentence fragments in the English language. Especially when uttered by either conspiracy theorists or the congenitally stupid. Firstly, they never think, as it is not within their general cognitive abilities to be able to do so - their thinking is usually limited to "I saw it on TikTok", "time to eat", "time to sleep", "time to crap". And that's about it.

One particular neighbour of mine, with a PhD in Benefit Claiming, has a remarkable ability - for one so unbelievably dense - to make up stuff at a rate that might suggest all the "stuff" in the world is severely endangered. 

For example, he always announces when a white car (do take into account there are currently some 4.4million white cars in the UK) passes at the end of the street, "Oh look, I think (there's that magical fragment, "𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸") that was 'our Martin'. He has a white car"

I would explain Darwin's "Origin of Species" to him in simplistic terms, but unfortunately, evolution seems to have given him a miss.

Some crackers today.

1. Opposite us is the Queen's Medical Building attached to what was "The University of Bolton". It houses teaching rooms and offers advanced dental laboratories for dental students to develop their skills using specialist dental industry equipment. They took the signage down a few weeks ago, and Dr Benefits stated "𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 it is being converted into flats for immigrants". Meanwhile, over the weekend, the University affixed a new sign, as in the photograph. When I showed Dr Benefits the photo, his explanation was "They just want us to think that".

Some of his other gems this weekend for your enlightenment.

2. 𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 you can now get a book (he has not got a single book in his flat himself by the way) that explains how you can legally avoid paying Council Tax".  I did inform him there has been two existing sheets of printed paper that explain how to do it legally ever since the days of domestic rates. One is called a "sales receipt from an estate agent", the other, a "death certificate"
3. 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 that Tommy Robinson is Jewish, because he supports Israel (Dr Benefits does himself support Israel. His argument fails regarding Tommy Robinson, because Dr Benefits is Roman Catholic himself)
4. It would appear, according to Dr Benefits, the reason I couldn't get a bus before 9 this morning, was a, because he "𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 Andy Burnham (the unitary elected mayor for Manchester, for those of you who didn't know) has diverted the buses to the posh areas so they don't have to wait as long as we do for a bus".  
I did try to explain the concept that many people living in "posh areas" can actually have a minimum of two cars, or in the case of Mr and Mrs BooHoo/Pretty Little Things/Tumbling down Clothing Empire thanks to Shein, on Ringley Road in Manchester, 6 cars. No, completely over his head.

I think it is fair to state that if the Jihadists just remain in sleeper mode and leave us all to it, give us 40 years, and many will master their own destruction quite peacefully, without any violence required. In fact, so many will have their heads in their Thick-Tacks and Instagrannies 24/7, busily "following" all the life-saving soshul influenza wastrels, they won't even notice the great apocalypse going on around them.