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Lazy English - the unspoke epidemic

 I was fascinated by the informative "Photdump" article on Page 12 of the January edition of "The Oldie" written by Richard Godwin.

I suspect Richard is NOT an "Oldie", as he is a user of modern-day, over-utilised, nonsensical "Amaricanese".

I have been a very effusive photographer all my life, one time even annoying the NUJ by taking photographs myself to illustrate my magazine articles.

However, I never once submitted, have had, or held onto a "whole bunch of photographs". A "considerable collection" or "numerous photographs at one time" yes, perhaps so. Never a "bunch", which tends to be reserved to describe the collective gathering of cut flowers I occasionally buy a loved one.

However, by "bunching" photographs, they would most certainly become considerably crumpled, totally unusable if traditionally printed, or indeed very "inter pixellated" were they to be "bunched" together as one in digital format.

I am not impressed at all with the "Americanese" we seem to be falling for that is in fact simply dumbing down our language.

I think only professional zombies or members of the RNLI on a rescue mission have the right to "reach out". The lady in charge of the vegetables at my local supermarket is not a "curator" (although with the age of some vegetables on show, perhaps their antiquity qualifies them to be "curated" as part of Tate Gallery-style exhibition. I am not on a new blood-pressure medication "journey", as the only transport involved are my two legs to the pill container and a bottle of water in my kitchen.
And I rarely if ever get "super" excited, "super" happy or "super" sad as I never use "super" as either an adverb or adjective apart from the manufactured word "supermarket" that has been in our language for quite some time now.

And my new air fryer does not "blend in with my kitchen space" - there is a kettle, toaster, coffee machine and spice rack already occupying the kitchen top where I have the intention of placing my new air fryer, so with the considerable repositioning of this appliance required, it is not, and has never been, a "space".

I have most certainly never worked with the lovely Claire on the checkout at my local supermarket, whom the management now seems to think is a "colleague". The staff of the Hilton hotel chain now seem to have an "associate" rather than a "staff" entrance.

It is bad enough the lazy have dropped the use of "t" from the middle of words and the "g" at the ends of gerunds in their conversations.

Many here "uuup north" actually confuse foreign visitors with their ineptness of pronunciation and diction where despite being British born and bred, they have succeeded in turning English into their second language by dropping the "h" at the beginning of words altogether.

Is an 'art attack just Greta Thunberg and her associates on the prowl or is it indeed a medical condition?
Can you be limbless by coming to some serious 'arm using an industrial machine?
Look at my 'and and my 'am. What? Is that a form of current "conjunctivitis" Oh, you mean your HAND and your HAM.  I do hope it's cured.
So you are good with a calculator when you 'ad your summer gazebo erected in the garden? Oh sorry, you HAD it erected.
But if you're not big 'eater, surely it doesn't effect your energy bills? Oh, you mean you've not got a big HEATER.
And I'm glad the police use long shirts and have cuffs this cold weather. Oh, you mean the police have HANDCUFFS.



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