Lazy English - the unspoke epidemic

I was fascinated by the informative "Photdump" article on Page 12 of the January edition of "The Oldie" written by Richard Godwin.

I suspect Richard is NOT an "Oldie", as he is a user of modern-day, over-utilised, nonsensical "Amaricanese".

I have been a very effusive photographer all my life, one time even annoying the NUJ by taking photographs myself to illustrate my magazine articles.

However, I never once submitted, have had, or held onto a "whole bunch of photographs". A "considerable collection" or "numerous photographs at one time" yes, perhaps so. Never a "bunch", which tends to be reserved to describe the collective gathering of cut flowers I occasionally buy a loved one.

However, by "bunching" photographs, they would most certainly become considerably crumpled, totally unusable if traditionally printed, or indeed very "inter pixellated" were they to be "bunched" together as one in digital format.

I am not impressed at all with the "Americanese" we seem to be falling for that is in fact simply dumbing down our language.

I think only professional zombies or members of the RNLI on a rescue mission have the right to "reach out". The lady in charge of the vegetables at my local supermarket is not a "curator" (although with the age of some vegetables on show, perhaps their antiquity qualifies them to be "curated" as part of Tate Gallery-style exhibition. I am not on a new blood-pressure medication "journey", as the only transport involved are my two legs to the pill container and a bottle of water in my kitchen.
And I rarely if ever get "super" excited, "super" happy or "super" sad as I never use "super" as either an adverb or adjective apart from the manufactured word "supermarket" that has been in our language for quite some time now.

And my new air fryer does not "blend in with my kitchen space" - there is a kettle, toaster, coffee machine and spice rack already occupying the kitchen top where I have the intention of placing my new air fryer, so with the considerable repositioning of this appliance required, it is not, and has never been, a "space".

I have most certainly never worked with the lovely Claire on the checkout at my local supermarket, whom the management now seems to think is a "colleague". The staff of the Hilton hotel chain now seem to have an "associate" rather than a "staff" entrance.

It is bad enough the lazy have dropped the use of "t" from the middle of words and the "g" at the ends of gerunds in their conversations.

Many here "uuup north" actually confuse foreign visitors with their ineptness of pronunciation and diction where despite being British born and bred, they have succeeded in turning English into their second language by dropping the "h" at the beginning of words altogether.

Is an 'art attack just Greta Thunberg and her associates on the prowl or is it indeed a medical condition?
Can you be limbless by coming to some serious 'arm using an industrial machine?
Look at my 'and and my 'am. What? Is that a form of current "conjunctivitis" Oh, you mean your HAND and your HAM. I do hope it's cured.
So you are good with a calculator when you 'ad your summer gazebo erected in the garden? Oh sorry, you HAD it erected.
But if you're not big 'eater, surely it doesn't effect your energy bills? Oh, you mean you've not got a big HEATER.
And I'm glad the police use long shirts and have cuffs this cold weather. Oh, you mean the police have HANDCUFFS.

Pirate Bay threatened with closure - doesn't affect me

Swedish file sharing website The Pirate Bay is now under threat following legal action by the British Phonographic Industry last December. They alleged that the website "infringes copyright on a massive scale” regarding the sharing of computer games, software, films and music. Point taken, and one can't for one minute deny that copyright is being infringed on quite a massive scale, not just on Pirate Bay, but all around the internet. However, with due respect to the originators of the shared files, I have never used Pirate Bay myself, except perhaps on very odd occasions for software, films and music. I never use Pirate Bay for software, because I prefer to pay an outlandish price for another seemingly pointless update to Microsoft Office that neither improves my speed nor productivity. And I am quite happy to part with hard earned cash to a company that has already earned a fortune from me - and others - with their updates over the years. And as for the recent update of Pho...

Airport amusement

There is no doubt that airports can be quite amusing places. That is apart from being told by a burly security supervisor at the x-ray gate that thanks to the only contribution Yasser Arafat ever made to society, I had to remove my belt, shoes, watch and place my AK-47 in the tray provided. Watching people going around their travel ‘business’ in airports and on board the aircraft is hilarious. There are those who are plainly not very good at it, continually checking all manner of minutiae with the other members of the party. “Do we go to the gate?”, “Have we time for a beer?”, “I MUST get a pizza”. There are those who have plainly not done it much before and like their fellow travellers to be made fully aware of the exact opposite, as they point and gesture to the monitor shouting out their destination and boarding gate at every passing opportunity to one and all around them. There are those who think they are something special – despite the fact they are travelling via bu...

Are Camelot dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy?

There can be no denying that UK lottery operators Camelot are on to a good thing. Especially the overpaid management. They have been reaping the benefits of the franchise for years now - a franchise that in essence, has been licenced by the government to print money. However, I can't quite make up my mind whether the management of the Lotto are dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy, although the cynic in me answers the question when I consider the chief Executive of Camelot was complaining last year that the annual bonus on her not inconsiderable 7-figure salary had been reduced (conveniently forgetting her 18 year sojourn to date at Camelot has produced a pension we mere mortals can only dream about. How about the poor soldiers, CEO Dianne Thompson, who come back from the far-east minus a leg and have to legally fight for compensation that doesn't even touch what you earn less than a month? And they don't receive CBE's for their troubles either !). Irres...

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