The Grumpy Old Blog

Crime! Drugs! Drug lords! Murder! Poverty! Litter! Rotten transport! Lousy roads! Third-world hotels!  You must be absolutely mad!  What on earth is possessing you to go there? This was the general reaction when I mentioned where we were heading for our holidays this year. But the detractors and smart-Alecs couldn’t have been more wrong. Crime, well we certainly saw none, nil drugs, yes, some abject poverty, but hey, there are around a dozen people currently sleeping in doorways on Manchester’s Deansgate. There was no litter anywhere, with tripartite bins for paper, glass/tins and non-recyclables on most street corners, superb, speedy, reliable and cheap public transport with no peak fares (like we here in the UK pay for our quite substandard services), no road potholes, fabulous hotels . . . .   yes, Colombia is nothing but fantastic! Well, providing you exclude car drivers. They are like the drivers in Rome or Paris - suicidal! We kicked off in Med...

There can be no doubt that Apple make some really superb bits of (very expensive) kit. World class, aspirational and quite desirable stuff. However, they are becoming a bit twee in their old age. Remarkable with it, but nevertheless very twee. Their chopped-off (er, cordless) ear phones for one. Who would have thought that any company could design an in-demand product that makes the user look like they are on day release from a corrective institution? They have succeeded in turning "dolt-looking" into such an iconoclastic look that there are companies actually producing copy fashion accessory versions for £12 a pair. These purposefully don't contain any technology and don't actually perform any function apart from looking like ridiculous Apple iPhone ear buds. Who would have thought it was possible that people would actually pay £12 to wear something that is not only stupid-looking, but has actually been designed NOT to work? And the new iPhone 11 Pro. Does th...

Just back from Buck House celebrating Her Royal Majesty's 93rd birthday. She loved the Ferrari Experience voucher for Brand's Hatch that we bought her. She said she was looking forward to giving Phil a taste of his own medicine. Bless her. Charles was there and he delivered a wonderful speech, and sang the Big Sea's hit "When I am king" and then introduced us to his new BF, a lovely palm tree from the Sultan of Brunei. His mom clipped him around the ear when he suggested it was a rather "gay" present. His nieces Fifi and Trixabelle, or whatever they're called (Air Miles Andy's daughters), were there, resplendent in their new Easter bonnets. Everyone was "fnarr, fnarring" about them except Camilla, who, always one to call a horse a horse, thought they were total crap. The hats and not the girls that is. Duchess Meghan was in the corner selling signed copies of "Suits" for her "Jeremy Corbyn Passover"...

I'm just back from visiting Meghan and Harry. Great afternoon. Boy, they had you all fooled! We laughed about the press hotly debating whether "the new baby was born at home" or "the new baby was born in hospital". He was actually born in a special birthing suite in Claridges using Thai silk towels and hot bottled Buxton water. They had decided to ban the "Meghan went into Labour" stuff because of the row over Antisemitism. As it happens, Mr Corbyn was neither there nor invol ved. Harry was on great form about the ongoing naming speculation. He has already consulted his Granny, and has confirmed that although he's quite a Kardcashincan/Kanyaaaaaee fan, they won't be calling young Sussex either North, South, East, West or even the slightly Prussian Countyov. Her Gracious Royal Majesty the Queen had been driven there by the Duke of Edinburgh, who sadly didn't make it to the birth as he was parking the Range Rover in the wal...

Well. 52% of the population were happy to be sold a car they didn't need by salesmen who knew nothing about it (Farage and Bozza), and despite the fact the 52% were told and accepted it was the ideal family car, they have since found out nearly three years down the line that not only does it do only 13 mpg, but it can accommodate only the driver and one passenger, has no boot space, spare tyres cost £600 each, it needs an oil change every 500 miles and servicing every 2,000 miles by the one specialist service shop in the UK 230 miles from their home.  And on top of that, businesses having nothing to do with the car, in fact not even in the automotive sector, are going to make a fortune out of it because so many of the parts that have absolutely nothing to do with the car, but will be used as an excuse to make money, will be "in short supply", "stuck in customs" or attract the soon to be introduced BAT (Brexit Added Tax). Meanwhile Infiniti, th...