Skip to main content

BNP announces its Euro election manifesto

The BNP announced its Euro election manifesto this morning, despite most members of the party being unable to spell either ‘election’ or ‘manifesto’. Following a European ruling, it has dramatically changed the way it operates, having taken election guidance provided by the Commission specially for totally odious and objectionable political parties.

The main BNP party leaders, headed by leader Adolf Griffin, Heinrich Barnpott and Bunny Hitler, gave a press conference earlier this morning. Revealing their new plans, the party has decided the following.

Membership is now open to any member of the community, irrespective of their race, colour or creed, providing they are white, Anglo-Saxon and Protestant, although Catholics may be admitted in extreme circumstances.

The BNP has totally changed their stance on immigration, saying that neither race, colour, creed nor ethnicity should be a bar to entering the country for social, domestic or employment purposes, provided the passport of the immigrant can prove beyond doubt that they are white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant and were born in the UK.

People of all religious persuasions, creeds, colour and race are to be provided with total, 100% tolerance and respect, providing they are white, Anglo-Saxon and Protestant.

The power of instantaneous stop, search and sometimes even arrest by the Police, used mainly in areas tending to be exclusively Black, Asian or Jamaican, will now cease immediately. From now on and effectively immediately, the police will no longer have to power to stop, search or even arrest white, Anglo-Saxon Protestants.

It will be an offence for anyone to call a member of the ethnic minorities a Spic, Span, Eyetie, Muzzie, ****, Kike, Jew, Gyppo, Fatso or Baldy, especially if they are white, Anglo-Saxon and Protestant.

Religious and racial intolerance on the BNP’s social networking site or website will no longer be tolerated, especially if the subjects of those taunts are white, Anglo-Saxon Protestants.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The "Win a Million" free scratch card newspaper inserts

One of those three-panel "Win a Million" scratchcards fell out of my newspaper this morning. Not a major or in anyway newsworthy event in itself, but I must admit my surprise. I didn't think anyone bothered with them anymore, or, to be a little more technical, I didn't think anyone was taken in by them anymore. Firstly, it actually is printed on the bottom of each panel that "Every card has a set of 3 matching symbols, 2 matching symbols and no matching symbols". Right, so you are going to 'win', half-win and not win respectively. Then, while the prize list is somewhat impressive with 1x£1m, 1x£100k, 2x£20k, 3x£10k and other things like holidays, tablet PC's city breaks all the way down to 1000 "faux" fashion watches, 1000 salon  makeovers and 1000xVIP Thames cruises. Now should I be stupid enough to spend the £1.53 a minute for the 6 minute phone call to claim my prize (that's almost a tenner, for those of you without cal...

Chancellor's letter of apology to Bob Diamond of Barclays

Thanks to my contacts at the new News International business "Phonetaps'R'Us", I was exclusively sent a copy of a letter sent to the Chief Executive of Barclays Bank, Bob Diamond, from the Chancellor yesterday. "Dear Bob Trusting you and yours are well. Listen mate. Sorry the F inancially S tupid A sses wrote to your bank yesterday to demand £290million as a fine. It's nothing personal, and just because your bank head office people are a bunch of dishonest, thieving bastards, I thought there was no reason to carry on that way and fine you. I made this clear to the FSA yesterday as soon as I heard the news. I told them that the taxpayer would have been more than happy to bail you out. And also. Look mate. Sorry you've had to give up your bonus this year. It must have come as quite a shock, and was a wonderful thing for you to volunteer to do. I only hope you've put something by from the £17million you received last year. No doubt the bank pay...

"Q". My name is Bond. Oh. not THAT Q.

I was sent a story today by a friend who knows my feelings on the subject - that is, about one of the consummately greatest of all British activities, namely, queuing. It seems some Danish Professor or other has come up with the theory that those who queue the longest should actually be served the last. He claims it makes purchasing something altogether more efficient and smooth through the idea of 'contra-queuing' (whatever the devil that may mean). 'Serve the people at the back of the queue first', he says, with profound wisdom. Altogether very professorial, albeit demonstrating a somewhat keen lack of understanding of the purchasing psyche. The Nobel Prize-chasing Prof suggests that if, for example, a popular entertainment act was to announce a tour, with tickets going on sale at 11am one morning, using the theory of 'contra-queuing', no one will want to be first to buy said tickets. So no one will turn up 14 months in advance and venues will...