Skip to main content

I don't mind the Jehovah's Witnesses calling

 I have always liked the Jehovah's Witnesses. But I think I'll have to drop their HQ a line to complain. They very naughtily knock on the door in pairs, today, one a middle-aged gentleman who dressed like a Job Centre civil servant from the 1970's, the other, an extremely attractive girl in her late twenties/early thirties whom you'd want to ask if she'd care to help you book a cruise with the sole intention of not going out on deck too often with her (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!), thus keeping the ports of call strictly within the cabin.

Today's very attractive co-caller was a rather prim and proper Lily James lookalike who would otherwise have scored an admirable 11 in the Dudley Moore film "10".

Tempted though I was to ask exactly what they had witnessed and to state that as I don't get involved - that makes me somewhat of a Jehovah's Bystander - following a few pleasantries and a leaflet titled "Will I survive" (well, the mighty Gloria Gaynor did!) they then went on their merry (!) way, all without insult from me.

Presumably, they were off to not watch the Man City football match on the TV's they don't own, unlike me. I do have a TV, but ain't the least bit interested, although I do hope they win (that is, Man City and not the JW's - the JW's ain't playing as far as my limited knowledge of football goes).

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The "Win a Million" free scratch card newspaper inserts

One of those three-panel "Win a Million" scratchcards fell out of my newspaper this morning. Not a major or in anyway newsworthy event in itself, but I must admit my surprise. I didn't think anyone bothered with them anymore, or, to be a little more technical, I didn't think anyone was taken in by them anymore. Firstly, it actually is printed on the bottom of each panel that "Every card has a set of 3 matching symbols, 2 matching symbols and no matching symbols". Right, so you are going to 'win', half-win and not win respectively. Then, while the prize list is somewhat impressive with 1x£1m, 1x£100k, 2x£20k, 3x£10k and other things like holidays, tablet PC's city breaks all the way down to 1000 "faux" fashion watches, 1000 salon  makeovers and 1000xVIP Thames cruises. Now should I be stupid enough to spend the £1.53 a minute for the 6 minute phone call to claim my prize (that's almost a tenner, for those of you without cal...

Chancellor's letter of apology to Bob Diamond of Barclays

Thanks to my contacts at the new News International business "Phonetaps'R'Us", I was exclusively sent a copy of a letter sent to the Chief Executive of Barclays Bank, Bob Diamond, from the Chancellor yesterday. "Dear Bob Trusting you and yours are well. Listen mate. Sorry the F inancially S tupid A sses wrote to your bank yesterday to demand £290million as a fine. It's nothing personal, and just because your bank head office people are a bunch of dishonest, thieving bastards, I thought there was no reason to carry on that way and fine you. I made this clear to the FSA yesterday as soon as I heard the news. I told them that the taxpayer would have been more than happy to bail you out. And also. Look mate. Sorry you've had to give up your bonus this year. It must have come as quite a shock, and was a wonderful thing for you to volunteer to do. I only hope you've put something by from the £17million you received last year. No doubt the bank pay...

Are Camelot dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy?

There can be no denying that UK lottery operators Camelot are on to a good thing. Especially the overpaid management. They have been reaping the benefits of the franchise for years now - a franchise that in essence, has been licenced by the government to print money. However, I can't quite make up my mind whether the management of the Lotto are dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy, although the cynic in me answers the question when I consider the chief Executive of Camelot was complaining last year that the annual bonus on her not inconsiderable 7-figure salary had been reduced (conveniently forgetting her 18 year sojourn to date at Camelot has produced a pension we mere mortals can only dream about. How about the poor soldiers, CEO Dianne Thompson, who come back from the far-east minus a leg and have to legally fight for compensation that doesn't even touch what you earn less than a month? And they don't receive CBE's for their troubles either !). Irres...