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As one door closes, another one opens.

 "π’œπ“ˆ π‘œπ“ƒπ‘’ π’Ήπ‘œπ‘œπ“‡ π’Έπ“π‘œπ“ˆπ‘’π“ˆ, π’Άπ“ƒπ‘œπ“‰π’½π‘’π“‡ π‘œπ“ƒπ‘’ π‘œπ“…π‘’π“ƒπ“ˆ".

I would like to take issue with Alexander Graham Bell over this statement of his.

I closed the front door, went upstairs and patiently waited for the bathroom door to open. It did not.

Plus, while I'm at it, as a co-governor of MS's 'Grumpy Old Man Club", I'd like to take issue with Mr Bell's latter-day equivalent mobile communication apparatus. This is the one that has spawned hordes of modern-day phone-hugging morons wandering the streets in what one can only assume is a perambulate form of coma that the cast members of zombie films have all been modelled on.

Why do young ladies walk around carrying two bags yet they insist on holding their mobiles in their hands at the same time? Are they all financial traders or emergency response workers so vital to the UK economy that they can't place their phone in one of their bags and await it to ring or 'ting', thus announcing the arrival of a communication from one of their fellow zombies?

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