Sunday, 30 November 2014

Ryanair - what a business model.

You have to hand it to Ryanair. It's a very clever business model that has made chief executive Michael O'Leary an enviably wealthy multi-multi-millionaire.

And it's all been done on a business model that not only STILL, as yet, doesn't care one hoot for the customer, despite certain big-mouth promises, but also treats staff with equal disdain, seeing them forced to act like in-air salespeople, wandering up and down the airplane peddling over-priced crap and stupid lottery tickets.

And it all starts before passengers even step on the plane.

For example, I don't think the Budapest Airport authorities realise that the reason their fancy (and very nice looking) duty free shops were bereft of customers was because there was just one desk open for the three Ryanair flights taking off between 16.20 and 17.30!

There appears to be four types of traveller who use Ryanair.

1. Those who simply just want to get from "a" to "b" as cheaply as possible.

2. Those who are prepared to undertake a 30-mile round trip at home to buy 40 litres of fuel for 2p a litre cheaper than their local garage, yet the moment they get on a Ryanair flight will happlily pay €20 for four slices of bread, two slices of processed cheese and a sliced tomato (magically transformed into things Ryanair seem to deem as 'two sandwiches') and two 25ml cans of pop.

3. Those who carry on like they are high-flying executives and 'swagger' up and down the aircraft all flight, buying everything in sight, making sure we other passengers are all fully aware of their copy Breitling watches, yet not realising that the rest of we passengers know we are all simply on a budget airline because it WAS the cheapest and IS the nastiest alternative.

4. Those who travel in packs and expect to sit together in a block of 12 despite not paying the stealth charge Ryanair add to enable a party of 12 to sit together. They pull the "foreigner" card, pretending not to speak any of the local default languages, although they are clearly texting in Hungarian as the 'plane approaches Budapest Airport, despite having been told by the on-board Ryanair salesman (cleverly disguised as an air steward) not to turn off  'plane mode' until the plane has landed.

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