Skip to main content

Wokey Wokey!!!!

Well, the Wokists have had two weeks over the holiday to ruminate over the delights they are bound to hit us all with tomorrow, the first "real" day back at work. I wonder what feats of wonderment they will have in store for us all.

Here are some inspirational thoughts if you are a Wokist and struggling.

1. "White" Christmas - you need to set the record straight for Bing. Both Bings!
2. Expanding the line from Michael Jackson's song "It don't matter if you're black or white" as well as the John Kongos – Tokoloshe Man and Gary Moore - Out in the Fields song lyrics "It makes no difference if you're black or if you're white". Use a rhyming dictionary if you struggle with matching up "LGBTQ" and "Sam Smith" with something
3. You have until 20th April to come up with some reason to spoil Easter for everyone (get your skates on Birmingham Council - you seem to champions at ruining normal people's fun)
4. Changing the name of the "Mamas and the Papas" and Welsh rockers "Man" to something more suitable. Also revisiting the highly unwoke group name "Brotherhood of Man" - not wishing to spoil your fun, but perhaps "Personhood of Person"
5. Something must surely irritate in your "Health and Safety" rules that needs changing.
6. Renaming the shelf-talkers in the lingerie departments of various retailers.
7. Asking Currys to change their brand name so as not to cause offence when someone claims that had a "Bad Curry's experience"". Can't have the proprietors of establishments along the Curry Mile up in arms can we? I (Can I still call it the "Curry Mile"?)

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The "Win a Million" free scratch card newspaper inserts

One of those three-panel "Win a Million" scratchcards fell out of my newspaper this morning. Not a major or in anyway newsworthy event in itself, but I must admit my surprise. I didn't think anyone bothered with them anymore, or, to be a little more technical, I didn't think anyone was taken in by them anymore. Firstly, it actually is printed on the bottom of each panel that "Every card has a set of 3 matching symbols, 2 matching symbols and no matching symbols". Right, so you are going to 'win', half-win and not win respectively. Then, while the prize list is somewhat impressive with 1x£1m, 1x£100k, 2x£20k, 3x£10k and other things like holidays, tablet PC's city breaks all the way down to 1000 "faux" fashion watches, 1000 salon  makeovers and 1000xVIP Thames cruises. Now should I be stupid enough to spend the £1.53 a minute for the 6 minute phone call to claim my prize (that's almost a tenner, for those of you without cal...
2 comments
Read more

Chancellor's letter of apology to Bob Diamond of Barclays

Thanks to my contacts at the new News International business "Phonetaps'R'Us", I was exclusively sent a copy of a letter sent to the Chief Executive of Barclays Bank, Bob Diamond, from the Chancellor yesterday. "Dear Bob Trusting you and yours are well. Listen mate. Sorry the F inancially S tupid A sses wrote to your bank yesterday to demand £290million as a fine. It's nothing personal, and just because your bank head office people are a bunch of dishonest, thieving bastards, I thought there was no reason to carry on that way and fine you. I made this clear to the FSA yesterday as soon as I heard the news. I told them that the taxpayer would have been more than happy to bail you out. And also. Look mate. Sorry you've had to give up your bonus this year. It must have come as quite a shock, and was a wonderful thing for you to volunteer to do. I only hope you've put something by from the £17million you received last year. No doubt the bank pay...
Post a Comment
Read more

Teen music goes full circle - from long-haired louts to screamers

I confess to being somewhat amused. Remembering back to my youth, the music of the day, with albums (the vinyl type) toted around school under arms, tended to be by the untidy long-haired, wailing a set of completely nonsensical lyrics loudly into a microphone, with a couple of interruptions by a seemingly endless guitar solo. Names such as Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Yes, Genesis, Blodwyn Pig, Blind Faith, Cream, Traffic, Spencer Davis with the 4-minute wonders provided by the Rolling Stones and Status Quo. Strangely, these bands or their members are still going strong up to 50 years later! And yes, they mostly wrote all their own material and played their own instruments. And my dad hated most of them, thinking they all sounded the same (although, as a man in his mid 80's before his passing away a couple of years ago, he enjoyed the Electric Light Orchestra, Ian Dury and Queen. And unashamedly, the album of cover songs by Ozzy Osborne). Today, the wailing has now become ...
Post a Comment
Read more