Well, the Wokists have had two weeks over the holiday to ruminate over the delights they are bound to hit us all with tomorrow, the first "real" day back at work. I wonder what feats of wonderment they will have in store for us all.
Here are some inspirational thoughts if you are a Wokist and struggling.
1. "White" Christmas - you need to set the record straight for Bing. Both Bings!
2. Expanding the line from Michael Jackson's song "It don't matter if you're black or white" as well as the John Kongos – Tokoloshe Man and Gary Moore - Out in the Fields song lyrics "It makes no difference if you're black or if you're white". Use a rhyming dictionary if you struggle with matching up "LGBTQ" and "Sam Smith" with something
3. You have until 20th April to come up with some reason to spoil Easter for everyone (get your skates on Birmingham Council - you seem to champions at ruining normal people's fun)
4. Changing the name of the "Mamas and the Papas" and Welsh rockers "Man" to something more suitable. Also revisiting the highly unwoke group name "Brotherhood of Man" - not wishing to spoil your fun, but perhaps "Personhood of Person"
5. Something must surely irritate in your "Health and Safety" rules that needs changing.
6. Renaming the shelf-talkers in the lingerie departments of various retailers.
7. Asking Currys to change their brand name so as not to cause offence when someone claims that had a "Bad Curry's experience"". Can't have the proprietors of establishments along the Curry Mile up in arms can we? I (Can I still call it the "Curry Mile"?)
Well, we’re used to hearing about the Camping Season , which for Scouts runs from approximately 31st March to 31st October each year, although Graham Norton’s camping season lasts all year. Then there’s the Caravan Season , where Jeremy Clarkson spends six months with extremely high blood pressure as he tries to overtake them on the A38 in an excruciatingly expensive and completely unnecessary car. The Japanese have their Scientific Season, which was a series of sporadic weeks where they slaughtered endangered whales for scientific research, the results of which seem to be a closely guarded world-secret. This season now looks set, thanks to a group of spineless, land-locked countries threatened by the Land of the Rising Scientific Research with paying more for their Nintendos and PlayStations, to last until the final whale is wiped off the face of the oceans. I have written to the Japanese Embassy four times now seeking details of this research (email address info@l...
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