Well, the Wokists have had two weeks over the holiday to ruminate over the delights they are bound to hit us all with tomorrow, the first "real" day back at work. I wonder what feats of wonderment they will have in store for us all.
Here are some inspirational thoughts if you are a Wokist and struggling.
1. "White" Christmas - you need to set the record straight for Bing. Both Bings!
2. Expanding the line from Michael Jackson's song "It don't matter if you're black or white" as well as the John Kongos – Tokoloshe Man and Gary Moore - Out in the Fields song lyrics "It makes no difference if you're black or if you're white". Use a rhyming dictionary if you struggle with matching up "LGBTQ" and "Sam Smith" with something
3. You have until 20th April to come up with some reason to spoil Easter for everyone (get your skates on Birmingham Council - you seem to champions at ruining normal people's fun)
4. Changing the name of the "Mamas and the Papas" and Welsh rockers "Man" to something more suitable. Also revisiting the highly unwoke group name "Brotherhood of Man" - not wishing to spoil your fun, but perhaps "Personhood of Person"
5. Something must surely irritate in your "Health and Safety" rules that needs changing.
6. Renaming the shelf-talkers in the lingerie departments of various retailers.
7. Asking Currys to change their brand name so as not to cause offence when someone claims that had a "Bad Curry's experience"". Can't have the proprietors of establishments along the Curry Mile up in arms can we? I (Can I still call it the "Curry Mile"?)
There is no doubt that airports can be quite amusing places. That is apart from being told by a burly security supervisor at the x-ray gate that thanks to the only contribution Yasser Arafat ever made to society, I had to remove my belt, shoes, watch and place my AK-47 in the tray provided. Watching people going around their travel ‘business’ in airports and on board the aircraft is hilarious. There are those who are plainly not very good at it, continually checking all manner of minutiae with the other members of the party. “Do we go to the gate?”, “Have we time for a beer?”, “I MUST get a pizza”. There are those who have plainly not done it much before and like their fellow travellers to be made fully aware of the exact opposite, as they point and gesture to the monitor shouting out their destination and boarding gate at every passing opportunity to one and all around them. There are those who think they are something special – despite the fact they are travelling via bu...
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