A small charity committee get-together has concluded. Having been one myself on several contractual occasions, one can always spot a civil-service lifer. They have this inane ability to naturally inject meaningless bullsh*t into the conversation "through the chair" (we were sitting on the sofa and armchairs, so it was an absolute bugger to get the 'chair' into the air so that "Sha" [Patricia] could speak through it.
Sadly, I haven't the space to be able to get away with playing "HR bullsh*t bingo" on the laptop I was taking minutes on, but I lost count, as well as the will to live, as a result of the number of automatic interjections of pure drivel she added to everything she said. We had ringfencing, bar raising, envelope pushing, blue-sky considerations (it's bloody dark outside woman!), gaining viable traction (I thought my laptop was the four-wheel drive version - plainly not).
And then she finished by discussing the DNA of Manchester Council (despite none of us having the appropriate scientific equipment) and finished with a quick "it is what it is" (which it actually wasn't this evening, but try telling that to a Grade 7 civil servant),
The red rag now being waved wildly by Reg (yes, we do have a Reg on the komm-ih-tee!) behind "Sha" as all and sundry put their coats on (thankfully, as I reached for my coat, I realised I live here, thus saving me having to risk the current -5° outside) meant I HAD to lower the tone. Announcing loudly, I said:
"I was in the Trafford Centre on Tuesday, and the lift there elevated me to a whole new level", I announced with a very serious look on my face.
The other four people, who like me, similarly appreciate the greatness of Sha's contribution to the proceedings, laughed quite heartily, while poor Sha was, as she might say in her own Grade 7 words, "left at the control gate" (none of us actually knows what that means).
While I have no idea of "Sha's" political leanings, I really feel there is a future LibDem town councillor, wound up like a coiled spring, waiting to burst out of her brown Next overcoat that was £17 ('still with tags from Vinted' according to "Sha").
There is no doubt that airports can be quite amusing places. That is apart from being told by a burly security supervisor at the x-ray gate that thanks to the only contribution Yasser Arafat ever made to society, I had to remove my belt, shoes, watch and place my AK-47 in the tray provided. Watching people going around their travel ‘business’ in airports and on board the aircraft is hilarious. There are those who are plainly not very good at it, continually checking all manner of minutiae with the other members of the party. “Do we go to the gate?”, “Have we time for a beer?”, “I MUST get a pizza”. There are those who have plainly not done it much before and like their fellow travellers to be made fully aware of the exact opposite, as they point and gesture to the monitor shouting out their destination and boarding gate at every passing opportunity to one and all around them. There are those who think they are something special – despite the fact they are travelling via bu...
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