A small charity committee get-together has concluded. Having been one myself on several contractual occasions, one can always spot a civil-service lifer. They have this inane ability to naturally inject meaningless bullsh*t into the conversation "through the chair" (we were sitting on the sofa and armchairs, so it was an absolute bugger to get the 'chair' into the air so that "Sha" [Patricia] could speak through it.
Sadly, I haven't the space to be able to get away with playing "HR bullsh*t bingo" on the laptop I was taking minutes on, but I lost count, as well as the will to live, as a result of the number of automatic interjections of pure drivel she added to everything she said. We had ringfencing, bar raising, envelope pushing, blue-sky considerations (it's bloody dark outside woman!), gaining viable traction (I thought my laptop was the four-wheel drive version - plainly not).
And then she finished by discussing the DNA of Manchester Council (despite none of us having the appropriate scientific equipment) and finished with a quick "it is what it is" (which it actually wasn't this evening, but try telling that to a Grade 7 civil servant),
The red rag now being waved wildly by Reg (yes, we do have a Reg on the komm-ih-tee!) behind "Sha" as all and sundry put their coats on (thankfully, as I reached for my coat, I realised I live here, thus saving me having to risk the current -5° outside) meant I HAD to lower the tone. Announcing loudly, I said:
"I was in the Trafford Centre on Tuesday, and the lift there elevated me to a whole new level", I announced with a very serious look on my face.
The other four people, who like me, similarly appreciate the greatness of Sha's contribution to the proceedings, laughed quite heartily, while poor Sha was, as she might say in her own Grade 7 words, "left at the control gate" (none of us actually knows what that means).
While I have no idea of "Sha's" political leanings, I really feel there is a future LibDem town councillor, wound up like a coiled spring, waiting to burst out of her brown Next overcoat that was £17 ('still with tags from Vinted' according to "Sha").
One of those three-panel "Win a Million" scratchcards fell out of my newspaper this morning. Not a major or in anyway newsworthy event in itself, but I must admit my surprise. I didn't think anyone bothered with them anymore, or, to be a little more technical, I didn't think anyone was taken in by them anymore. Firstly, it actually is printed on the bottom of each panel that "Every card has a set of 3 matching symbols, 2 matching symbols and no matching symbols". Right, so you are going to 'win', half-win and not win respectively. Then, while the prize list is somewhat impressive with 1x£1m, 1x£100k, 2x£20k, 3x£10k and other things like holidays, tablet PC's city breaks all the way down to 1000 "faux" fashion watches, 1000 salon makeovers and 1000xVIP Thames cruises. Now should I be stupid enough to spend the £1.53 a minute for the 6 minute phone call to claim my prize (that's almost a tenner, for those of you without cal...
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