Skip to main content

Got the Wong number - it's not Barry Night here!

 

Surreal experience in my local convenience (well, it's a 15 minute walk, so not really convenient) store which doubles up as a Yodel parcel store. I sold some tat on Vinted and went to "post" it, the new owner assuming delivery to them by using Yodel might indeed materialise this year.

Anyway, the shop is owned, somewhat unusually, by a Mrs Wong (I never phone the shop in case I DON'T get the Wong number) whose lovely daughter usually manages it. However, today, Mrs Wong herself was at the helm. Her English is a bit 'suspect' at times.
 
Now a fellow worker on the magazine at the publisher I worked for in Dublin many decades ago was named Barry Knight. After much gesticulation, pointing and pleasant surreal conversation of which I had no idea what she was talking about, Mrs. Wrong announced as I was leaving, "Your Barry Knight". I replied "Sorry, no, I'm not" to which she looked rather dismayed. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the assistant piped up that Mrs Wong was actually inferring that I'm "very nice" as opposed to being "Barry Knight".
 
Mrs Wong has plainly not witnessed me when someone says they will "reach out" to me, tells me of their "career or business journey" that has never involved physical transport, or uses "super" as an adverb or adjective!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The "Win a Million" free scratch card newspaper inserts

One of those three-panel "Win a Million" scratchcards fell out of my newspaper this morning. Not a major or in anyway newsworthy event in itself, but I must admit my surprise. I didn't think anyone bothered with them anymore, or, to be a little more technical, I didn't think anyone was taken in by them anymore. Firstly, it actually is printed on the bottom of each panel that "Every card has a set of 3 matching symbols, 2 matching symbols and no matching symbols". Right, so you are going to 'win', half-win and not win respectively. Then, while the prize list is somewhat impressive with 1x£1m, 1x£100k, 2x£20k, 3x£10k and other things like holidays, tablet PC's city breaks all the way down to 1000 "faux" fashion watches, 1000 salon  makeovers and 1000xVIP Thames cruises. Now should I be stupid enough to spend the £1.53 a minute for the 6 minute phone call to claim my prize (that's almost a tenner, for those of you without cal...
2 comments
Read more

Chancellor's letter of apology to Bob Diamond of Barclays

Thanks to my contacts at the new News International business "Phonetaps'R'Us", I was exclusively sent a copy of a letter sent to the Chief Executive of Barclays Bank, Bob Diamond, from the Chancellor yesterday. "Dear Bob Trusting you and yours are well. Listen mate. Sorry the F inancially S tupid A sses wrote to your bank yesterday to demand £290million as a fine. It's nothing personal, and just because your bank head office people are a bunch of dishonest, thieving bastards, I thought there was no reason to carry on that way and fine you. I made this clear to the FSA yesterday as soon as I heard the news. I told them that the taxpayer would have been more than happy to bail you out. And also. Look mate. Sorry you've had to give up your bonus this year. It must have come as quite a shock, and was a wonderful thing for you to volunteer to do. I only hope you've put something by from the £17million you received last year. No doubt the bank pay...
Post a Comment
Read more

Are Camelot dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy?

There can be no denying that UK lottery operators Camelot are on to a good thing. Especially the overpaid management. They have been reaping the benefits of the franchise for years now - a franchise that in essence, has been licenced by the government to print money. However, I can't quite make up my mind whether the management of the Lotto are dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy, although the cynic in me answers the question when I consider the chief Executive of Camelot was complaining last year that the annual bonus on her not inconsiderable 7-figure salary had been reduced (conveniently forgetting her 18 year sojourn to date at Camelot has produced a pension we mere mortals can only dream about. How about the poor soldiers, CEO Dianne Thompson, who come back from the far-east minus a leg and have to legally fight for compensation that doesn't even touch what you earn less than a month? And they don't receive CBE's for their troubles either !). Irres...
Post a Comment
Read more