3 sleeps to go - pass the sick bag Alice

 

Doncha just lurve those who only ever appear once a year on Facebook, hashtagging everyone to announce "3 sleeps to go" (what a stupid statement!).

This is followed three days later by a "𝐠𝐨𝐬𝐡, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐂𝐮𝐛𝐚 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐚𝐛-𝐮𝐮𝐮𝐮𝐮-𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐞 - 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐜𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐚𝐮 𝐯𝐢𝐧, 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢-𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐍𝐮𝐧. 𝐎𝐡 𝐰𝐞 𝐃𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬."

 

This then marks the start of a fortnight's flood of dullard pictures of food, views of 6-star hotels they plainly do not inhabit themselves, more food, a picture of a waiter making a total fool of himself with a cocktail shaker (a local elderly lady with Parkinson's) for the wonderful hordes of Watney's Red Barrell tourists in their Hawaiian t-shirts, long Union Jack shorts, stupid ear, eyelid and nose rivets with garish tah-ooze (and that's just the women). Plus, plenty of blurred scenics through the dusty window of the equivalent of a National Express bus, and finally, some more food pictures. 

 

Then a sign-off of regret two weeks later that their holiday has finished (much to the relief of the resort staff), and then absolutely nothing until their next vacation.