Skip to main content

Deaf by dinner

Gobsmacked Reactions: EastEnders Star Diane Parish's Shocking Christmas Day Death Reveal #eastenders - YouTube

I have just returned from my sole weekly religious ramble, that is, to collect the guilty pleasure that is a paper version of The Sunday Times. Far more effective and less expensive, I might add, than swatting flies with an iPad.

There were three young ladies in the shop, dropping off an assortment of Yodelised parcels for despatch (as opposed to "dispatch" - that is a 'something' that is "sent by speed" which I suspect Yodel cannot be justly accused of).
 
Their conversation was a model of spoken English. One of the young ladies mentioned that their Christmas dinner tomorrow, after the King's Speech no less, (not too sure whether they will be listening to HRM the King by his replantable Christmas tree - the Palace has NOT cut the roots off, intending to return it to pasture on the 13th day - or whether they mean the Colin Firth film) will be "to die for".
 
This, to me, seemed a rather terminal outcome for a Festive family dinner. However, she qualified what she had said in her following sentence by saying dinner was going to be "unreal" and "so sick".
So plainly, she and her family do have euthanasia in mind. Given the way they were speaking, the Bolton equivalent to the way the cast of EastEnders speak Estuary English, I wonder if they are in any way related? 
 
Although in both Bolton and EastEnders, the ending of a life results in "deaf", something an Austrian friend of mind cannot comprehend, he having been taught in English class all those years ago that the word is "death" with a "th" and has nothing to do with hearing.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Airport amusement

There is no doubt that airports can be quite amusing places. That is apart from being told by a burly security supervisor at the x-ray gate that thanks to the only contribution Yasser Arafat ever made to society, I had to remove my belt, shoes, watch and place my AK-47 in the tray provided. Watching people going around their travel ‘business’ in airports and on board the aircraft is hilarious. There are those who are plainly not very good at it, continually checking all manner of minutiae with the other members of the party. “Do we go to the gate?”, “Have we time for a beer?”, “I MUST get a pizza”. There are those who have plainly not done it much before and like their fellow travellers to be made fully aware of the exact opposite, as they point and gesture to the monitor shouting out their destination and boarding gate at every passing opportunity to one and all around them. There are those who think they are something special – despite the fact they are travelling via bu...
Post a Comment
Read more

Are Camelot dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy?

There can be no denying that UK lottery operators Camelot are on to a good thing. Especially the overpaid management. They have been reaping the benefits of the franchise for years now - a franchise that in essence, has been licenced by the government to print money. However, I can't quite make up my mind whether the management of the Lotto are dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy, although the cynic in me answers the question when I consider the chief Executive of Camelot was complaining last year that the annual bonus on her not inconsiderable 7-figure salary had been reduced (conveniently forgetting her 18 year sojourn to date at Camelot has produced a pension we mere mortals can only dream about. How about the poor soldiers, CEO Dianne Thompson, who come back from the far-east minus a leg and have to legally fight for compensation that doesn't even touch what you earn less than a month? And they don't receive CBE's for their troubles either !). Irres...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Season for all men

Well, we’re used to hearing about the Camping Season , which for Scouts runs from approximately 31st March to 31st October each year, although Graham Norton’s camping season lasts all year. Then there’s the Caravan Season , where Jeremy Clarkson spends six months with extremely high blood pressure as he tries to overtake them on the A38 in an excruciatingly expensive and completely unnecessary car. The Japanese have their Scientific Season, which was a series of sporadic weeks where they slaughtered endangered whales for scientific research, the results of which seem to be a closely guarded world-secret. This season now looks set, thanks to a group of spineless, land-locked countries threatened by the Land of the Rising Scientific Research with paying more for their Nintendos and PlayStations, to last until the final whale is wiped off the face of the oceans. I have written to the Japanese Embassy four times now seeking details of this research (email address info@l...
Post a Comment
Read more