Skip to main content

Deaf by dinner

Gobsmacked Reactions: EastEnders Star Diane Parish's Shocking Christmas Day Death Reveal #eastenders - YouTube

I have just returned from my sole weekly religious ramble, that is, to collect the guilty pleasure that is a paper version of The Sunday Times. Far more effective and less expensive, I might add, than swatting flies with an iPad.

There were three young ladies in the shop, dropping off an assortment of Yodelised parcels for despatch (as opposed to "dispatch" - that is a 'something' that is "sent by speed" which I suspect Yodel cannot be justly accused of).
 
Their conversation was a model of spoken English. One of the young ladies mentioned that their Christmas dinner tomorrow, after the King's Speech no less, (not too sure whether they will be listening to HRM the King by his replantable Christmas tree - the Palace has NOT cut the roots off, intending to return it to pasture on the 13th day - or whether they mean the Colin Firth film) will be "to die for".
 
This, to me, seemed a rather terminal outcome for a Festive family dinner. However, she qualified what she had said in her following sentence by saying dinner was going to be "unreal" and "so sick".
So plainly, she and her family do have euthanasia in mind. Given the way they were speaking, the Bolton equivalent to the way the cast of EastEnders speak Estuary English, I wonder if they are in any way related? 
 
Although in both Bolton and EastEnders, the ending of a life results in "deaf", something an Austrian friend of mind cannot comprehend, he having been taught in English class all those years ago that the word is "death" with a "th" and has nothing to do with hearing.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Season for all men

Well, we’re used to hearing about the Camping Season , which for Scouts runs from approximately 31st March to 31st October each year, although Graham Norton’s camping season lasts all year. Then there’s the Caravan Season , where Jeremy Clarkson spends six months with extremely high blood pressure as he tries to overtake them on the A38 in an excruciatingly expensive and completely unnecessary car. The Japanese have their Scientific Season, which was a series of sporadic weeks where they slaughtered endangered whales for scientific research, the results of which seem to be a closely guarded world-secret. This season now looks set, thanks to a group of spineless, land-locked countries threatened by the Land of the Rising Scientific Research with paying more for their Nintendos and PlayStations, to last until the final whale is wiped off the face of the oceans. I have written to the Japanese Embassy four times now seeking details of this research (email address info@l...
Post a Comment
Read more

"Q". My name is Bond. Oh. not THAT Q.

I was sent a story today by a friend who knows my feelings on the subject - that is, about one of the consummately greatest of all British activities, namely, queuing. It seems some Danish Professor or other has come up with the theory that those who queue the longest should actually be served the last. He claims it makes purchasing something altogether more efficient and smooth through the idea of 'contra-queuing' (whatever the devil that may mean). 'Serve the people at the back of the queue first', he says, with profound wisdom. Altogether very professorial, albeit demonstrating a somewhat keen lack of understanding of the purchasing psyche. The Nobel Prize-chasing Prof suggests that if, for example, a popular entertainment act was to announce a tour, with tickets going on sale at 11am one morning, using the theory of 'contra-queuing', no one will want to be first to buy said tickets. So no one will turn up 14 months in advance and venues will...
2 comments
Read more

"Pre-" . . . . . good grief!!!!!!!!!

I was looking through the Guardian this morning and noticed a position being advertised that I thought I'd take a closer look at. The first sentence, when clicking the link to apply was: "If you are registered, please log in and we will pre-fill this form for you." What is the current fixation with the prefix "pre" . It is everywhere, turning perfectly reasonable statements into total and utter gibberish! I would have thought that for one of our major quality newspapers, instead of "please log in and we will pre-fill this form for you" it would have been much more sensible to have something along the lines of "please log in and your details will be automatically filled in for you". It is the rip-off Britain merchants who have embraced this particular prefix with a vengeance. They have nonsensically slapped it in front of the word " order " so that the moment an overpriced games console, war game for that console, phone,...
1 comment
Read more