The Grumpy Old Blog

Well, another year over, and a new one just about to begin. By special request (i.e. the wife and kids asked me not to), here are my predictions for the year 2019: January The date for the annual November “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday” sale event is announced by Amazon. November. All 30 days of it. Chocolate eggs for Easter 2020 go on sale in Sainsbury’s. Weightwatchers come up with a new resolution to weight loss – they encourage you to help all of your friends gain 15 pounds so you look thinner. To demonstrate Diane Abbott is not as stupid as she is, Jeremy Corbyn encourages her to take an IQ test, which proves negative. February So as not to be accused of turning kids into moronic zombies, Snapchat starts a campaign to encourage its users to read more. They put sub-titles on their pages. A story about Brexit makes it on to the front page of the Beano. George Galloway announces he is changing sex to become a man. Labour blame the Tories for something which ...

Well, an interesting trip to the mid-winter retail festival, er I mean Christmas market in Manchester. Or "The UK's original, award winning Manchester Christmas Market" as the Council prefer to call it. Big, brash, bustling and full of late teenage /early 20's girls imitating Daffy Duck with their preposterous Botox duck lips. They really should stick to the more cost-effective lunacy of torn-kneed jeans and baseball hats on backwards, taking cat-backside pursed-lipped selfies of one another instead. It was mad busy. The stalls stretch all over the city centre, selling wonderful stuff like mulled wine, frankfurters, cheese, plastic illuminated santas, wreaths, mulled wine, cheese, frankfurters, cheese, mulled wine, frankfurters and plastic illuminated santas. For the more adventurous, there was mulled wine, frankfurters, cheese and plastic illuminated santas (in fairness loads of other food, tat and craft stalls). Hot drinks were handled rather interestingl...

* When there were only three television stations (5 if you lived in Dublin where you nicked HTV and Ulster) * When the the TV remote control consisted of your feet and fingers * When bored children were taken to the park with a football instead of to McDonalds * When girls didn't have tattoos * When young mothers talked to their perambulated children rather than to Facebook and Snapchat * When you didn't need £15,000 of dental work, Ugg boots and a 4x4 you were unable to park in a traditional parking space in order to be a "real" housewife * When your parents wouldn't have let you out of the house with your hat on backwards, the knees of your trousers cut away, your underpants' band showing and your trouser crotch down at your knees * When Manchester United and Manchester City footballers all came from Manchester * You didn't take your phone with you to the toilet, to make a cuppa, to answer the door, to open the window, to go to bed, to...

Remembering back to a report in the Sunday Times not too long ago where is was stated that the respective Chinatowns of Liverpool (the oldest in the UK), Manchester and Newcastle are in serious decline, diner numbers having reduced dramatically with some restaurants sadly having to close. The situation has not been remedied either by the arrival of the pandemic. The main reasons they cite for the closures are: the emergence of world foods bringing a much bigger choice for the consumer lack of suitable chefs to run the kitchens competition from new retail schemes, restaurants and 'street food' collectives in more salubrious and accessible parts of the cities I am the first to concede this may indeed be the case. Yes, new retail and dining experience schemes do indeed take away from the traditional Chinatown areas that have now not only become somewhat tired in comparison, but have increasingly - in fairness, through no fault of their own - been left in areas that are now seen ...

Well done to everyone involved with Sport Relief in raising almost £40milion and especially to the fantastic Zoe Ball for raising a thoroughly amazing £1million-plus on her own. Bet dad Johnny must be so proud. Astounding. P.S. Also, delighted to see that 3 of the 11 homeless people sleeping in doorways along Manchester's Deansgate this morning now have little put-me-up-tents. Not that I'm advocating too much charity should begin at home. But at least three of these unfortunate people can now cough and sneeze in the comfort of their own now-enclosed pavement slabs. Oh! And that after 8 months of chaos they have now resurfaced Bury New Bottleneck Road as part of the £800,000 "Village" improvement that no one in the area wanted nor were consulted on. I'm just chuffed, as a council tax payer, that the cash-strapped Council indeed had some spare cash to waste, er, sorry, I mean spend on this. Well done to Councillor Backhandcash for pushing it...