The Grumpy Old Blog

So Big Dave has been to see Her Majesty to dissolve the government. On the suggestion of Anjem Choudary, he used Nitric Acid rather than the usual Astonish products from his local pound shop, although the Duke of Edinburgh did object to him racing up and down the corridors of Buck House on a Domino Pizza motorbike. All the politicians have wheeled out their headache pills - "I believe" (geddit?) - and there are reports that the sales of Johnson wipes have increased dramatically as canvassers head off to kiss dribbling babies and have toddlers throwing up all over their suits. The public will soon be deluged by politicians charging around in their battle busses (National Express 561 to London) knocking on doors shouting, "I don't know who you are or what you do, and I don't really care. Just give me your vote." Labour will say the Conservatives shouldn't blame UKip for the LibDems being so appalling to the SNP who shouted at the Greens for giving out to P...

What is it with current advertisements on television? Is it that the advertisers themselves are selling such absolute rubbish, or is it simply they don't realise they have saddled themselves with completely uncreative and useless advertising agencies? Meanwhile, Sir Martin Sorrell is waltzing to the bank with $53million for his past year's troubles. I wonder how many awful campaigns his company WPP has come up with recently? Or have they been responsible for originating or copying any of those I'm about to mention? I can't imagine the viewing rooms being full of company directors all wetting themselves with delight at the unveiling of new campaigns like these below that are of such monumental piss-poor proportions. The malaise set in with mobile phone operator O2 and their positively appalling "Be more dog" campaign. Totally meaningless, not to mention grammatically incorrect. Then moneysupermarket.com, already accused along with other comparison sites...