Delighted to see that Tehran is now coming back into the 19th century with the offer of a trench of new courses to enlighten the ignorant.
BSc in shoe throwing
This three-year course
guides the student as to how best get value for money from their
shoe-throwing activities. There is advice on the best type of shoes
suitable for throwing at politicians, infidels and women, where to
source the cheapest shoes, and a list of prosthetic shops in Iran
selling single remainder shoes.
MA in flag burning
This popular course explains
what a flag is and what country it is from, where to obtain national
flags of the world and relevant locations to burn them in.
BA in homicide belts
This course teaches student
where to obtain the best quality explosive belts, how to detonate them
and how to provide for the family members they leave behind. However,
students are advised that following the practical course work, only 1 in
10 of them will survive, and that comprehensive insurance against
razing the university campus to the ground during their course work must
be taken out in advance.
BTEC in infidel spotting
This day release course
aims to help students spot an infidel by their dress code and the music
they listen to, although they are advised to avoid anyone listening to a
Gary Glitter CD on the grounds that even an infidel wouldn’t sink so
NVQ in burka knitting
Amazingly open to Iranian
women, this university day release course (avoiding meal and shopping
times because Iranian authority men don’t do domestic stuff) shows the
different style of burka that can be achieved with simple knitting
needles and lengths of wool. A remarkable range of styles and colours
include long black, long black and the brand new for 2015-look, long
Headed up by no less than two
(knob)heads of state, former peseant President Ihaveano Dinnajaquet and Barking Bob
Mugabe, this course teaches the student how to achieve a 105% return in
“yes” votes when they run for election to local or national government.
There are also practical sessions on how to block foreign media and
murder members of the opposition.