A little bit of sensible humour in marketing can go a long way

Personally, I think a little, or in fact, a lot of humour is what is needed nowadays. Ok, yes, in the right places and at the right time. For example, be sensible and steer clear of flight or construction humour with 9/11 coming up! Something a little more lighthearted does have the big cheering-up factor, which can be far more engaging.

Half the problem nowadays is that so many marketing people are, to quote the vernacular, up their own posteriors. And it's not funny. I've been there myself, and to be honest, didn't like it, because it wasn't me.

Health and Safety has replaced common sense. Goodness knows exactly what the current dysfunctional and unnecessary HR has replaced (they certainly don't know themselves).

And all marketing people seem to have, for some strange reason known only to no one, gone SEO-mad. And it ain't the least bit humourous! This is despite the fact that so many of them can neither write or speak English correctly, and so few actually know whet they are SEO-ing on about anyway.

[An example of this being I was researching Multiple Sclerosis, and a well-known UK- tax-evading search engine came up with "See special offers on all your Multiple Sclerosis from Amazon.co.uk" and "Multiple Sclerosis is post free from very.co.uk". So don't go on at me about SEO!]

People want to be engaged. They want to be entertained. They want to be 'brought in' to what they are reading. They want to be 'spoken to' and not 'lectured at'.

But it doesn't mean patronising people with stupidity in an attempt to be humourous, such as a certain insurance comparison website where the driver is either a nerd in an invisible car or on an elephant. And then you go to another comparison website (free cuddly toy, but no conveyor belt or shutters provided) and the quotes you receive are all different to the first comparison site.

Something wrong there surely?

Neither does it mean promoting the destruction of the English language to be amusing.

Take the the case of the satellite TV advertisements fronted by the very nice, but rather English-mangling ("mumfs" rather than "months") Idris Elba, or the BBC's EastEnders where not one character speaks properly - excepting 'Lucy', which probably goes quite a way to explain why, as a character, she was killed off.

And inventing stupid and meaningless terms is not the least amusing or humourous - "pre-order" being the most insidious of recent years - I always thought you either ordered something or you didn't order something. Now, if I have an unfortunate need to break wind, I automatically feel I must mention to those around me that it was a pre-sh........ well, you know what I mean.

[What is this fascination with "pre"? No longer are things used or second-hand, they are "pre-owned". And as for the most stupid and meaningless of them all "pre-loved". What????????]

There is enough doom, gloom and misery out there to last a lifetime, without marketing people encouraging further doom, gloom and misery.

And what a way to remember a brand, if it made you smile, rather than just weep with despair.

Airport amusement

There is no doubt that airports can be quite amusing places. That is apart from being told by a burly security supervisor at the x-ray gate that thanks to the only contribution Yasser Arafat ever made to society, I had to remove my belt, shoes, watch and place my AK-47 in the tray provided. Watching people going around their travel ‘business’ in airports and on board the aircraft is hilarious. There are those who are plainly not very good at it, continually checking all manner of minutiae with the other members of the party. “Do we go to the gate?”, “Have we time for a beer?”, “I MUST get a pizza”. There are those who have plainly not done it much before and like their fellow travellers to be made fully aware of the exact opposite, as they point and gesture to the monitor shouting out their destination and boarding gate at every passing opportunity to one and all around them. There are those who think they are something special – despite the fact they are travelling via bu...

Are Camelot dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy?

There can be no denying that UK lottery operators Camelot are on to a good thing. Especially the overpaid management. They have been reaping the benefits of the franchise for years now - a franchise that in essence, has been licenced by the government to print money. However, I can't quite make up my mind whether the management of the Lotto are dim, dysfunctional, liars or just plain greedy, although the cynic in me answers the question when I consider the chief Executive of Camelot was complaining last year that the annual bonus on her not inconsiderable 7-figure salary had been reduced (conveniently forgetting her 18 year sojourn to date at Camelot has produced a pension we mere mortals can only dream about. How about the poor soldiers, CEO Dianne Thompson, who come back from the far-east minus a leg and have to legally fight for compensation that doesn't even touch what you earn less than a month? And they don't receive CBE's for their troubles either !). Irres...

Why your kids never reply to your mobile communications

A frequent topic of conversation among my own peer group of retired and semi-retired wrinklies is regarding Millennials (born 1981 to 2000) and early Generation Z (2001 to 2020) and their ability to be glued to their mobiles 24/7, yet never replying in a timely manner to a communication from their older kith and kin. They don't reply, yet will gladly get it touch immediately with their own peers to ask, "Do you follow Chardonnay Moron on 'Insta' - she's soooo cool". Yes, cool, but otherwise clueless, and usually an inept, Beluga-lipped, tattooed moron who prefers to spout total crap on 'soshul meeja' on topics they in reality know absolutely nothing, using this as a job, instead of actually working gainfully for a living. " Like, follow and share " are the only three words these wastes of space know. Yet they are the new Messiahs of the Millennials and Gen Z, and woe betide any Millennials or Gen Z who might miss one single word - spelt wron...

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