Skip to main content

I know I'm like a broken record concerning HR.


To those who know me, they are well-aware that mentioning HR (Human Resources) to me is the equivalent of holding a red rag in front of a bull.

I don't just dislike HR. I detest it. With a vengeance. Had I the money, I would have it proscribed and banned. It is the business equivalent of ISIS or Hamas. Terrorism, just without the violence.

I appreciate not everyone can get everything right all the time, and while HR people allegedly should have some sort of commitment to their employees, not just kowtowing to cowardly directors, it's not exactly life-threatening (although certainly nearly always job-threatening) should they mess things up, which they always seem to do with absolutely no effort.

Now, the unfortunate thing is, I am not wrong. And I find this disturbing. And it's all based on my own experience of HR.

I had a particular experience that I would rather forget. I can't go into detail, because it was so illegal, hurtful and downright dishonest that just before it went to employment tribunal they settled out of court, setting aside £100 of the settlement, as companies who are embarrassingly in the wrong always do, to put a gagging order in place.

I am only sorry I didn't have some money in the bank as I would have loved to let it go to tribunal and taken them for all I could, more so to have each and every rotten and complicit one them splashed all over the media.

They engaged the services of a clueless, evil, witless woman as a consultant who was so dysfunctional and dishonest that she doesn't mention the episode on her LinkedIn profile, where she continues to this day to to fool all of the people all of the time. I really pity any company who uses her services!

But it goes further than this. My wife works in the financial services industry where customer service is the key. The particular company she works for does a good job for their customers, but all their internal HR systems are total and utter crap, if not non-existent. Long and good service is not recognised, advancement promises are broken all the time, and if she's on an extended shift, she can end up being sent for lunch 2 hours after she arrives at the office (laughingly called "capacity planning") with no other break for the remaining 8 hours of her shift!

My daughter works part time for a multinational grocer to subsidise her University. They sell quality goods, but the HR management of the food-only store where she works is a huge joke bordering on non-existent.

And my son has just completed a nine-month stint on paid work-experience for a large international IT firm. He was paid well and had a good and useful time, but the HR input he received was minimal when it came to turning it into the apprenticeship that he wanted. They delayed and messed around right up to the day he had to otherwise accept his University place.

So, here we have a family of four witnessing a 100% track record of bad HR practice.

Can any other profession boast getting things 100% wrong? I doubt it.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The "Win a Million" free scratch card newspaper inserts

One of those three-panel "Win a Million" scratchcards fell out of my newspaper this morning. Not a major or in anyway newsworthy event in itself, but I must admit my surprise. I didn't think anyone bothered with them anymore, or, to be a little more technical, I didn't think anyone was taken in by them anymore. Firstly, it actually is printed on the bottom of each panel that "Every card has a set of 3 matching symbols, 2 matching symbols and no matching symbols". Right, so you are going to 'win', half-win and not win respectively. Then, while the prize list is somewhat impressive with 1x£1m, 1x£100k, 2x£20k, 3x£10k and other things like holidays, tablet PC's city breaks all the way down to 1000 "faux" fashion watches, 1000 salon  makeovers and 1000xVIP Thames cruises. Now should I be stupid enough to spend the £1.53 a minute for the 6 minute phone call to claim my prize (that's almost a tenner, for those of you without cal...

Chancellor's letter of apology to Bob Diamond of Barclays

Thanks to my contacts at the new News International business "Phonetaps'R'Us", I was exclusively sent a copy of a letter sent to the Chief Executive of Barclays Bank, Bob Diamond, from the Chancellor yesterday. "Dear Bob Trusting you and yours are well. Listen mate. Sorry the F inancially S tupid A sses wrote to your bank yesterday to demand £290million as a fine. It's nothing personal, and just because your bank head office people are a bunch of dishonest, thieving bastards, I thought there was no reason to carry on that way and fine you. I made this clear to the FSA yesterday as soon as I heard the news. I told them that the taxpayer would have been more than happy to bail you out. And also. Look mate. Sorry you've had to give up your bonus this year. It must have come as quite a shock, and was a wonderful thing for you to volunteer to do. I only hope you've put something by from the £17million you received last year. No doubt the bank pay...

"Q". My name is Bond. Oh. not THAT Q.

I was sent a story today by a friend who knows my feelings on the subject - that is, about one of the consummately greatest of all British activities, namely, queuing. It seems some Danish Professor or other has come up with the theory that those who queue the longest should actually be served the last. He claims it makes purchasing something altogether more efficient and smooth through the idea of 'contra-queuing' (whatever the devil that may mean). 'Serve the people at the back of the queue first', he says, with profound wisdom. Altogether very professorial, albeit demonstrating a somewhat keen lack of understanding of the purchasing psyche. The Nobel Prize-chasing Prof suggests that if, for example, a popular entertainment act was to announce a tour, with tickets going on sale at 11am one morning, using the theory of 'contra-queuing', no one will want to be first to buy said tickets. So no one will turn up 14 months in advance and venues will...