Destined for greatness

 

 

I have to be otherwise convinced that some people are destined for greater things. They just don't know it yet.

I was in the great emporium of retail wonder that is Asda a little earlier. It's a veritable Poundstretcher on steroids.

Two young ladies, demonstrating the versatility and fine art that is shopping while on TikTok and pushing their screaming snot machines who were intent on grabbing anything they cculd reach from the confines of their strollers. These unwanted goods, on their eventual discovery, were placed by their respective mother on any convenient shelf to presumably confuse the illiterate who may then wonder what a tin of chickpeas has to do with Cadbury's Creme Eggs.

These two ladies seemed to be intent on shopping not for necessities, but for anything that gained more Asda Reward points than un-extra-pointed stuff they actually needed.

Ramen kits were offering £1 reward on their £3.35 retail price, at which point I heard "ask the auld [me, auld? Cheek!] fellah he might know" followed by a "scuse me mistoh, what's a ramen?". Attempting to be always a helpful person, I did my best to explain, although it is not a concept that needs too many complicated words.

However, while I mentioned China as an origin which they were at ease with, I could see I was losing them when I brought Japan into the equation. However, Lady #1 helpfully explained to her friend that Japan is where Toyotas come from. With Japan at the top end of my bucket list, should I get to visit, I have now promised myself to look at the Toyotas.

She loaded four kits into her basket, rather chuffed with herself that she was gaining £4 in Asda rewards.

But that was not the end of it. I encountered them again in the canned fish isle, where I was asked what anchovies are. I resisted the temptation to explain the respective health benefits of these little fishes, such as a multitude of vitamins, minerals and in particular, omega-3 fatty acids, neither did I suggest that as opposed to Asda's own brand, Cantabrian fillets are by far the best.

I lazily took the easy way out and said "they are sometimes used as toppings on pizza".

This plainly struck a familiar chord as her friend pronounced that "us eats loads of them pizzas mistoh" and chucked two tins of Asda reward-point-rich tins into her basket.

"Youse is very clever knowin' all that stuff mistoh".

Embarrassed though I was that my knowledge of pizza toppings seems professorial, and that they are now fully-ramen-educated, they were checking out at the same time I did, and their elation at having gained an extra £19 in points from their shopping will only be equalled by my own elation that will be demonstrated later on by winning Thunderball tonight.