The Grumpy Old Blog

    I have to be otherwise convinced that some people are destined for greater things. They just don't know it yet. I was in the great emporium of retail wonder that is Asda a little earlier. It's a veritable Poundstretcher on steroids. Two young ladies, demonstrating the versatility and fine art that is shopping while on TikTok and pushing their screaming snot machines who were intent on grabbing anything they cculd reach from the confines of their strollers. These unwanted goods, on their eventual discovery, were placed by their respective mother on any convenient shelf to presumably confuse the illiterate who may then wonder what a tin of chickpeas has to do with Cadbury's Creme Eggs. These two ladies seemed to be intent on shopping not for necessities, but for anything that gained more Asda Reward points than un-extra-pointed stuff they actually needed. Ramen kits were offering £1 reward on their £3.35 retail price, at which point I heard "ask the auld [me, auld? ...

    What would we do without very expensive restaurants such as the Michelin-starred, where people pretend to know what they have ordered and then have no idea what they actually end up eating? Or the hip, with-it establishments such as the Ivy, where people with ridiculous haircuts, riveted heads and silly tattoos are served by people with equally ridiculous haircuts, riveted heads and silly tattoos. Here, guests (not "customers", because "customers" are always right!) eat mussels in such a monstrous way that it makes you want to take them to the restroom and shove their heads down the nearest toilet. With weights across the back of their necks.   The answer is really very simple.   People you don't want to see strutting their teeth, "kinda-liking", "literallying", "obviouslying" or "super-ing" everything, and those you certainly don't need or want to eat your own meal in proximity to, need somewhere to go!    Let the...