Would you recommend Curry's to a friend? Er, in a word, no!

Firms are becoming extremely silly. Extremely. Beyond-belief silly. Sending out vacuous emails and surveys before the money you have paid for their goods or service has even left your bank.

 

"Based on your experience, on a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 means orgasmic and 0 means sh*t, would you recommend Curry's to a friend?"

As a rule I tend not to recommend anything I pay for myself to anyone, especially if it is from one of the internet giants or one of the many impersonal multi-million pound large businesses. They have marketing and advertising budgets smaller enterprises could only dream of as their annual turnover, let alone for advertising and marketing. And I also work on the basis that if I recommend a firm to family member or friend whose products and/or services turn out to be Currys, I would then have to go on a guilt trip and spend the next three years apologising.

 

Ah! That caught your attention, didn’t it! “Currys”.

 

What the blazes do I mean by “Currys” I hear you ask?

 

Well, I received a "Based on your experience, on a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 means orgasmic and 0 means sh*t, would you recommend Curry’s to a friend?" survey after what I can only describe as a thoroughly depressing customer service engagement. This particular survey was missing a “definitely not, no way and have you a phone number please for that nice Angela Ripon at RipOffBritain” tick box.

 

Their customer service was so bad I wouldn’t even recommend them to the Mad Hatter George Galloway as a method of irritating Britain’s greatest ever politician and human being, as I would probably find myself reported to the RSPCA as a result!

I purchased a freezer online from Curry’s that, six days after installation, decided to stop working.

The telephone number provided on their “guarantee” and bill of sale (the phone number mentioned three times in different places) routed to a telephone number where the operatives (contractors, and not staff of Curry’s), promptly told me “Oh no, sorry, it’s a Code 5 product, you’ll have to contact the manufacturer”. Plainly they had never heard of the Sales of Goods Act 1979. 

 

So, I phoned another number for customer services that I found by searching the internet, and after listening through five minutes of unbelievable guff and button pressing (presumably part of Curry’s customer service ethic of waring the customer down and making them give up the will to live, hoping they might self-terminate the call) I had my first tumble with the incredibly appalling and thoroughly useless South African call centre they use. They plainly have not listened to the Great British Public and their utter detestation for off-shore call centres. Four minutes into the live call itself (that is, when I finally got through), when I mentioned in passing that the goods were unfit for purpose and, under the Sales of Goods Act 1979, should simply be replaced, the charming lady in the South African call centre put the phone down on me.

 

Immediately I sensed in my waters that this was going to be a very long day. 

 

Little did I realise it was going to be a long two days.

 

In a nutshell, it took me 8 minutes short of 8 hours over two days, 44 phone calls (admittedly some calls I dropped once I realised the number I was using was routing yet again to the appalling and thoroughly useless South African call centre Curry’s use) and a thoroughly inconvenient visit to a local store 9 miles away from my home by return bus, train and walk (circa 14,000 steps according to my FitBit). Ironically, even the store, which you can’t contact by phone, as, according to Curry’s, “our store telephone numbers are ex-directory to free-up our branch staff for customers in the store”, didn’t reply to me until 34 hours after my personal visit.

Here are the phone calls:

I was now beginning to seriously question exactly for what reason Curry’s CEO Alex Baldock is paid £1million+ a year as a salary. Certainly not for the “excellent” customer service regime he has installed and that he lords over as CEO. And I wondered, after chatting with an elderly neighbour who confesses to having limited internet skills, what would happen to her if she bought a product from Curry’s and it stopped working? I’m internet savvy, yet Curry’s have the ability for customers to speak to a human being at their company tied down tighter than MI5! Even journalists can’t phone and have to email in to Curry’s Golden Square, London-based PR agency M&C Saatchi (wait for this – “We are a creative company of five specialist divisions, connected through data, technology & (sic) culture, to deliver Meaningful Change for clients"). Utter guff. So having been a journalist for many years, and having become totally brassed-off by Curry's appalling customer services, I emailed Saatchi’s. 

 

I'm still waiting for even an acknowledgement telling me to naff off.

 

I wonder does Curry’s CEO Alex Baldock also have to email M&C Saatchi rather than phone, or do they ignore him too because he’s not a journalist?

 

I posed 12, what I considered, reasonable questions in relation to my appalling treatment by Curry’s customer services, although I knew I would be wasting my time once I saw their email address had the dreaded word “solutions” (SCCCustomerSolutionsTeam@currys.co.uk) in it. 

 

When researching for my book on the evils of HR (Human Remains, the department for business destruction) some years ago, I discovered that it appears organisations with the word "solution" in their title are on average not only 27% less reliable, but 38% less efficient than those who creatively think up their own original name that does not include the word "solutions"! Using the word “solutions” is tied to a total lack of creativity. Maybe they need to contact Saatchi’s to come up with a more customer-friendly, meaningful and sincere email address (note to Curry’s customer services – you will have to email Saatchi’s, they don’t do phone calls, oh, and they only engage with journalists, and don’t respond to emails they receive anyway).

 

Customer service answered just TWO of the questions, one answer which threw the subject into even more confusion. Here are all 12 of them. I think they are reasonable:

1. Why is it so hard to contact a human being in the UK for Curry's? Is there an underlying agenda to put customers off speaking with someone? Why is listening to the over-5 minutes-of guff on the phone (same on every Curry's line), and multiple key presses required, rather than being able to get straight through to customer services for a faulty product?

2. How, then, do the elderly and infirm, who may lack the required internet skills, contact you if they have a problem?

3. It is reasonable for me to have spent 7 hours and 54 minutes (yes, sadly, I did time it) and 44 phone calls (I did drop some of the calls as they were heading to your thoroughly abysmal South African call centre) over the course of two days, plus an inconvenient (1 bus and 1 train journey plus a long walk in both directions!) visit to my 'local' Curry's to try and have the problem solved?

4. Why, after taking my details, did the Curry's store not get back to me until 34 hours later.

5. Why do all your phone lines go to an abysmal call centre in South Africa, and why are they allowed, as they did, to put the phone down on me three times just because I quoted the "Sale of Good Act 1979" when quietly explaining my purchased item was not fit for purpose and needed to be replaced?

6. Why was the phone number (for problems) on the receipt issued for the product of absolutely no use at all to report a broken item, as when I finally did get through, the lady on the phone claimed it was a "Class 5" product that they, as agents of Curry's, do not handle.

7. Why did the store claim the item was actually a "Class 3 item", claiming never to have heard of a "Class 5 item". Customer services “sort of” answered this with a totally contrary and confusing answer to that of their colleagues – “Whilst I can only assume the colleague you spoke to was incorrectly referring to a code 5 product (an item we do not repair as it uneconomical to do so), I can however confirm this does not apply in this instance.”

8. Why is there no phone number for the local store? Yay, they actually answered this one! “Our store telephone numbers are ex-directory to free-up our branch staff for customers in the store.”

9. When I did get through to someone (having figured out that trying a "sales" line would probably produce an answer reasonably quickly), I was passed through to a man who confirmed a day and time for delivery (any weekday, but only after 4pm on Thursday because I am out with a client from very early doors every Thursday all day - something I repeated at the end of the conversation to that Curry's man I spoke to), and lo and behold, the replacement item was indeed delivered . . . . . .. at 8.15am ON THE THURSDAY the one day I repeated twice" to the gentleman on the phone as the very one I was out for and that I has asked him if he understood that. He had said yes.

10. Why, with such awful customer service, should the CEO have a 7-figure salary when I, with a faulty brand new product and an estimated loss of £210 over the two days (taking time off work, losing pay because I am self-employed, transport fares, wasted time), have suffered financially trying to get an item, which under the Sales of Good Act 1979, was not fit for purpose, namely, it didn't work? I was forced to accept £50, which was originally set at £21.

11. Why was the provided phone number for your warranty division connecting and then immediately ringing unobtainable?

12. Which of these, in the opinion of you good people at Curry's customer service, represents good customer service?

    Curry's - no viable phone numbers, useless, patronising, rude, inefficient and professionally useless South African call centre, 44 phone calls, 7 hours 54 minutes wasted trying to speak to an informed human somewhere

    Lidl - southern England call centre, 8 minutes, fulsome apology, they voluntarily sent an unexpected £10 voucher

    Halifax - Belfast call centre, 6 minutes wait to report bank card taken by ATM and money not dispensed; details taken and money returned same day; text received the following morning to say new bank card being posted within 48 hours.

    In-Post - lost parcel reported, Birmingham call centre (reached after 2 rings) said someone local would phone within the hour. 10 minutes later the local Manchester depot called. 4 hours later I received an email to both confirm that the parcel was indeed lost and to provide a link for me to their claims division. who acknowledged my completed form the following morning.

   Sky - cancelling service - Scottish call centre, 3 minutes to connect with a human being, done and dusted within a further 6 minutes with details taken for return of credit on account by next (and final) bill.

The customer “services” team at Curry's initially offered me “food loss is calculated at £10.00 per cu ft which equates to £21.50 for your appliance” (a ‘terrific’ offer for the £60 worth of food that went to waste, the £12 public transport costs, and the almost 8 hours I had to spend getting the damn freezer replaced!). 

They did up their offer to “as a gesture of goodwill, I can increase this amount to £50.00, which can be issued either as a store voucher or BACS payment”. 

A store voucher?????

Where anything I might be foolish enough to buy includes a further profit to Curry’s, and if it didn’t work correctly, I’d have to then waste another two days of my life trying to get it fixed.

I took the £50 and ran, although, not at all in any remote way a “satisfied” customer. You will, however, be pleased to know that Curry's say “Feedback is always welcome, as it is used to continually improve the level of service provided” and “Please be assured that we do understand your concerns and your comments have been logged for internal review. Any training and operational issues will be addressed as part of this process to prevent this from happening again” and “I am however sorry to learn of the difficulties you have encountered with our phone system and the advisors you spoke to when connected. Due to the poor level of service and I have taken the opportunity in logging the details of the events as they unfolded onto your case reference of CC4570312. This will ensure your comments can be fed back to the relevant areas of the business and improvements made where appropriate to do so. Thank you again for taking the time to contact us and please accept my apologies for any disappointment previously caused.”

Enjoy your £10,170 a week salary Mr Baldock. It takes a qualified senior nurse a mere year to earn what you do in three weeks and a few days. And they save lives, not just turn replacing a brand new, yet non-working freezer into a blood-pressure-raising epic that even Steven Spielberg couldn’t invent!

Some further valuable advice with thanks to Scott Dixon, "The Grumpy Git", for this goldmine of information - there would be no need for this if Curry's traded equitably with its customers and had some real, good-old fashioned customer care in place https://thegrumpygit.com/currys-pc-world-fob-offs-your-consumer-rights/