The Grumpy Old Blog

Just back from Buck House celebrating Her Royal Majesty's 93rd birthday. She loved the Ferrari Experience voucher for Brand's Hatch that we bought her. She said she was looking forward to giving Phil a taste of his own medicine. Bless her. Charles was there and he delivered a wonderful speech, and sang the Big Sea's hit "When I am king" and then introduced us to his new BF, a lovely palm tree from the Sultan of Brunei. His mom clipped him around the ear when he suggested it was a rather "gay" present. His nieces Fifi and Trixabelle, or whatever they're called (Air Miles Andy's daughters), were there, resplendent in their new Easter bonnets. Everyone was "fnarr, fnarring" about them except Camilla, who, always one to call a horse a horse, thought they were total crap. The hats and not the girls that is. Duchess Meghan was in the corner selling signed copies of "Suits" for her "Jeremy Corbyn Passover"...

I'm just back from visiting Meghan and Harry. Great afternoon. Boy, they had you all fooled! We laughed about the press hotly debating whether "the new baby was born at home" or "the new baby was born in hospital". He was actually born in a special birthing suite in Claridges using Thai silk towels and hot bottled Buxton water. They had decided to ban the "Meghan went into Labour" stuff because of the row over Antisemitism. As it happens, Mr Corbyn was neither there nor invol ved. Harry was on great form about the ongoing naming speculation. He has already consulted his Granny, and has confirmed that although he's quite a Kardcashincan/Kanyaaaaaee fan, they won't be calling young Sussex either North, South, East, West or even the slightly Prussian Countyov. Her Gracious Royal Majesty the Queen had been driven there by the Duke of Edinburgh, who sadly didn't make it to the birth as he was parking the Range Rover in the wal...