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Mr or Mrs President, it's just like X-Factor, where all the contestants are appalling

Well, to all my dear American friends, I have a suspicion you are shortly going to get the President you deserve. A slight saving grace is that the second term for President Obama has meant there is now not so much of a bar, but more of a skewer to be raised by his successor.

On the one hand, one candidate seems to have a continual bad hair day, while the other enjoys a continual bad hair do. That the largest democracy in the world has to choose between Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber, seems to make the human pot-noodle, Kim Jong-un, somewhat of an attractive proposition.

Of course we in the UK can't talk. We are in the unenviable position of having a leader of Her Majesty's Opposition akin to a school teacher who, despite being a teacher for the past 30 years, decided some 30 years ago at the start of his teaching career that he hated children. One, for the first time in most of our living memories, who is not referred to as the "Honourable Leader of Her Majesty's Opposition", because he snubbed the Queen by not turning up to her tea party and thus did not become a member of the Privy Council.

In June 2016, the Labour Members of the UK Parliament passed a vote of no confidence in Mr Corbyn by 172 votes to 40, and seeing as he is still leader, any negative observances on the state of the USA elections by any British Labour Party supporter may certainly be treated with some contempt.

So enjoy your elections. Remember to cast your vote wisely. Choose the best candidate for the job. Sit back. Relax. Enjoy yourself. Observe the vote counting kicking off on a date that we in this part of the world refer to as 9/11.

And then panic.

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