Dear Qantas . . . . . . . .

A letter to Qantas:

Dear Qantas

I read recently that Qantas is to stop offering meals with pork content on certain Middle Eastern routes for fear of insulting those passengers of Islamic origins, a very noble gesture indeed.

However, I feel there are certain other ethnic passenger groups that you now need to consider for the avoidance of insult, although why Qantas has not considered these before now, or at least at the same time as the concern for Islamic passengers, is altogether rather puzzling.

• Sikh and Hindu passengers - beef foods and foods containing derivatives of beef
• Jewish passengers - will no doubt welcome the banning of pork foods, but are also concerned about the serving of seafood, fish lacking fins and scales, and the concurrent serving of milk and meat foods during any one meal
• Vegetarians - any meat or fish foods or those contains derivatives of meat or fish
• Coeliacs - serving of foods containing wheat
• Vegans - serving of any meat, fish or dairy foods
• Reformed alcoholics - the serving of beers, wines or spirits
• Roman Catholics - the admittance on flights of gay couples, or heterosexual couples currently using non-natural contraceptive methods
• Racists, bigots and Presbyterians - admitting passengers who are not a WASP - that is, White Anglo-Saxon Protestants
• Scientologists - any references to little green men

I trust you will adopt these policies immediately to fall into line with your removal of pork products for passengers of Islamic origin.

Thank you