Skip to main content

Bah Humbug!

9th of November (9.11.13, odd number sequence already picked up on by some American mathematician) and I'm absolutely fed up with Christmas advertisements.

I don't care if my sofa can't be delivered for Christmas, or if Ant and Dec - or was it Dec and Ant - choke on their Morrison's battered prawn, or if Aldi are flogging an equivalent Harrod's £20,000 hamper for around £500, or whether Clinique have developed a special Christmas method for parting women from even more of their money, or that the American J Crew store has opened in Regent Street in time for Christmas and is positively ripping off the idiot shoppers happy to pay same amount Sterling for a Dollar-ticketed piece of Bangladeshi crap.

I don't want to buy exclusive Disney Christmas items (although Mickey Mouse and Christmas have become frighteningly synonymous since Jesus has been relegated solely to Christmas Day Church services only), neither do I want to save £1 Tesco stamps on a card to lighten my Christmas shopping bill. I do not think John Lewis will bring me the spirit of Christmas and don't for one minute believe that Next have made Christmas shopping even easier for me with their one-stop Christmas Shop.

What I would like to see is the poor, harmless and totally inoffensive homeless lad who sits in the tunnel outside the Longfield Suite in Prestwich succeed in finding a job and improving his life (I know for a fact his recent history has caused this unfortunate situation rather than any lack of willingness on his part - he does need help).

Bah Bloody Humbug!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Season for all men

Well, we’re used to hearing about the Camping Season , which for Scouts runs from approximately 31st March to 31st October each year, although Graham Norton’s camping season lasts all year. Then there’s the Caravan Season , where Jeremy Clarkson spends six months with extremely high blood pressure as he tries to overtake them on the A38 in an excruciatingly expensive and completely unnecessary car. The Japanese have their Scientific Season, which was a series of sporadic weeks where they slaughtered endangered whales for scientific research, the results of which seem to be a closely guarded world-secret. This season now looks set, thanks to a group of spineless, land-locked countries threatened by the Land of the Rising Scientific Research with paying more for their Nintendos and PlayStations, to last until the final whale is wiped off the face of the oceans. I have written to the Japanese Embassy four times now seeking details of this research (email address info@l...

"Q". My name is Bond. Oh. not THAT Q.

I was sent a story today by a friend who knows my feelings on the subject - that is, about one of the consummately greatest of all British activities, namely, queuing. It seems some Danish Professor or other has come up with the theory that those who queue the longest should actually be served the last. He claims it makes purchasing something altogether more efficient and smooth through the idea of 'contra-queuing' (whatever the devil that may mean). 'Serve the people at the back of the queue first', he says, with profound wisdom. Altogether very professorial, albeit demonstrating a somewhat keen lack of understanding of the purchasing psyche. The Nobel Prize-chasing Prof suggests that if, for example, a popular entertainment act was to announce a tour, with tickets going on sale at 11am one morning, using the theory of 'contra-queuing', no one will want to be first to buy said tickets. So no one will turn up 14 months in advance and venues will...

"Pre-" . . . . . good grief!!!!!!!!!

I was looking through the Guardian this morning and noticed a position being advertised that I thought I'd take a closer look at. The first sentence, when clicking the link to apply was: "If you are registered, please log in and we will pre-fill this form for you." What is the current fixation with the prefix "pre" . It is everywhere, turning perfectly reasonable statements into total and utter gibberish! I would have thought that for one of our major quality newspapers, instead of "please log in and we will pre-fill this form for you" it would have been much more sensible to have something along the lines of "please log in and your details will be automatically filled in for you". It is the rip-off Britain merchants who have embraced this particular prefix with a vengeance. They have nonsensically slapped it in front of the word " order " so that the moment an overpriced games console, war game for that console, phone,...