Tuesday, 26 March 2013

The classic signs of a recruitment consultant leading you up the garden path.......

Recruitment in the UK has become an ugly beast.

Companies are increasingly caught up in inefficient, amateur and downright unethical practices that are driven by HR nonsense imported from the USA. And unfortunately, successive governments haven't had the gumption to do something about it, where it has got to the stage that legislation is long overdue.

HR, often called "Human Remains" by increasingly cynical and mistrusting staff, has now become the laughing stock of business practices, often the crutch used by limping CEO's and MD's who are too weak to either do the hiring and firing themselves, or do anything constructive about it.

Now I don't for one minute deny that there are some good personnel people out there! Unfortunately, they are overshadowed by the clinically useless and mechanically inept - those who make more noise, create more misery and frankly, exist for no other reason than they have a little more knowledge on the subject than their peers.

There are some classic signs in recruitment advertising, mainly at the keyboards of some professionally useless recruitment consultants (again, there are some good ones out there), that the candidate is 'being had'. Here are some of them:

"My Client is the UK leader in their field" - yep, the classic opener to any faux recruitment advertisement. Such a leader that they don't divulge who they are. In other words, they (the unfortunate recruiter) have forgotten the "No agencies please" at the bottom of their original advertisement and have left themselves open to a barrage of offers from recruitment consultants that wear them down.

“Recognised name and an employer of choice” – oh wow. Yes. An employer of choice. This is THE classic sales pitch to accompany "my client" and the "leading" nonsense that has drawn you in. They are certainly  the “employer of choice” until you cross swords with their useless HR department over your less than “employer of choice” and "leading" salary and conditions.

"Multi-million £ turnover" - yet they are offering either a non-committal "attractive salary", or one that is so low as to be offensive. Or they even ask candidates their own salary expectations.

"We will only contact you within the next 'x' days if you are selected for interview." - as we are working speculatively, we simply can't be arsed wasting the time and effort to acknowledge that you actually exist. Besides, we already have hundreds of poor saps on the books who have  previously applied for similar advertisements we placed over the past few months, so that's much easier and less expensive for us if we give them a shout first.

"Please be aware we receive a high volume of applications for every role advertised and  regularly receive applications from candidates who exceed the job credentials." We have created this situation where talented people are desperate for a job, but thanks to recruitment consultants like us, it's carnage out there on the job front. Besides, we use automatic CV scanning software, so if you haven't all the hit words in your CV, you're wasting your time - do you actually believe we waste our own time reading the CV you spent hours putting together?

"It may be advantageous for you to tailor your CV". Well, seeing as we haven't a foggy clue what you do, or for that matter what "My Client" does, just make our job easier. Please. We work hard for the 25% commission we charge "My Client". Yes, I know, they could save the commission and increase the salary on offer by 20% but then I might have to sell my BMW. Or my penis-extension personalised numberplate.

"Plus benefits". At least we think there might be some benefits. We'll get back to you on that. If we can be bothered.

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